October 28th, 2021Just sayin’…

SO, HEPBURN Shire Library has done away with fines. Good news all round. Well, if you borrow and don’t return, I guess. But they will still want the books back, you just kind of hit a “go slow” with borrowing if you fail to return.
And if you really fail to return you still have to pay for the missing items. As you should. Although, as bad as I feel saying it, my first thought was if you were leaving the shire, just grab a great handful of books and keep walking. But who would do that? Not me. Brought up too well and too honest. Can you be too honest?

Sadly, I always think thieves who get caught are just the dumb ones. There must be so many who are smart and never get caught. So many ways around the system. I have taken to loading my own bag, in a trolley, with water bottles. I just say “there are eight all up” and the check-out person takes me at my word. How easy would it be to pop something under them all? And if you get caught go for denial. “What?” “OMG!” “I am so sorry, didn’t realise under all that water was a leg of lamb.” I guess you would get a few chances before they were on to you.
In a past working life I always felt I had one chance a year to tell someone what I really thought of them. Like, just let rip, and then deny. I did it one time at The Advocate. This very heinous man, who seemed to have a fancy for me which clearly showed no sane thinking pattern, would regularly turn up at the office and try to spend time talking to me about his past sexual exploits. I kid you not. I would tell him to politely leave, I had no interest, that I had work to do and remember all before #MeToo. I didn’t tell anyone because at the time I would have been told to “man up”, “grow some” or just “get over it”.
Anyway, one day I saw him crossing the carpark and met him at the door. It had been a bad day. After the 2009 fires when I had a number of firies come to my office and spend time breaking down as they told me about looking for bodies in Kinglake. I ended up calling the local CFA headquarters telling them they would soon be dealing with suicides if they didn’t lift their mental health game. I think they had a bit of a “man up” attitude at the time too.
So, as the man neared, I stood at the door and roared “F… off!”. He looked flabbergasted but continued moving forward. He was nothing if not persistent. I roared again, not even caring now if I was upsetting any shoppers or nearby businesses. “F… off and don’t ever think about coming back!” Finally, his eyes showed he got the message and he muttered something in my direction about my supposed loose morals, and wandered off. I never saw him again. And his is the only death notice that has given me a smile.
He never complained about my language to my superiors but if he had I would have just denied it completely. “Who, me, talk like that? I don’t even know that word…”
But back to the library. I wonder if no fines from now means a meagre Christmas party? They never took electronic payment, only cash. And I always thought those fines would mean a great party come the end of the year.
When I worked in the old old days, when film was still around, we would process the film into photos and sell the photos, even those that were not exactly the ones that appeared in the paper. Just those ones almost like the ones that appeared in the paper. We called them “overs” and because they had no value, we could keep the money and we did, for our Christmas party. Worked out really well although I am sure people coming to buy photos wondered why they were not just dealing with front office staff but anyone out to make a quick buck.
I do read that the library, instead of fining people, will ask for a donation of non-perishable goods. Hmmm. That could work for a Christmas party. Maybe they could make a list, like a wedding registry, of what they need. Christmas cake, bon-bons, pudding, tinned turkey, tinned vegies, pavlova case and UHT cream, tins of chocolate, and of course, booze never goes off. Christmas punch, here we come.
Of course, I know the non-perishable goods are being donated to food charities around the shire. So just playing with the above lists and ideas. Who would do that? We are all honest, hardworking people, who never swear. Just sayin’…