September 7th, 2020Just sayin’…

I was reading somewhere that the first lockdown was “novel”. So people were a bit more upbeat. You remember, the dressing up to take out the rubbish, the endless jokey videos about life in lockdown, why Kyle and I even did our own take on that. What laughs we all had.
And then this shit got serious. And no-one laughs anymore. Walking around the supermarket is like being in a zombie movie. Every move is deliberate, no-one makes eye contact, no-one talks. Life, at the moment, in Victoria anyway, is a bloody nightmare.
But stop the moaning. We, as The Local, have received a heap of emails lately about how much people are loving what we do, and that we are inspiring people to keep going. We have a job to do here. So rather than whinge, or stick my head in a pillow and scream “f……”, here goes with what’s good about life right now.
Queensland. Remember the debates about Surfers or the Sunshine Coast? Or Cairns or Port Douglas. So much wasted time now back, because we can’t go to any of those spots. Same with overseas travel. Bali or Thailand? Neither. Greece or Italy? Same thing. All that time planning your next overseas trip saved. How good is this?
Closer to home, the grand final. Now Richmond is doing OK and could make the big one and that would ordinarily put me in a pickle of wondering how I could get tickets to the game. Not this year. I watched as Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk positively beamed on the television saying it was a “once in a lifetime opportunity”. “You’re welcome,” I said, under my breath. See, just nice things.
Oh, another thing I just thought of, think of all the money we are saving. No more restaurants or drinks at pubs. No more browsing turning into buying. No more long trips using up costly petrol and tolls. The bank balance is glowing. (Well it would be if anyone could advertise a restaurant or a pub or a holiday.) But still, all that extra time at home. And that’s a good thing. If the television producers run out of reality shows we could have an Australian state by state “Cleanest Homes” and Victoria is so going to win. How much time have we spent tidying pantries and cleaning out garages? I even know a woman who has polished her silverware. Not a posh thing, she was just bored out of her mind.
Another money saver – lipstick. With masks the new norm, we will never have to colour our lips again. Same with lip waxing, and for some women, not me of course, chin waxing. Hirsute is back. Just hidden.
Finally, and this is the big one. Bulk billing. Who hasn’t headed to a doctor just needing a simple script and come away with not just a lost hour or so, but a dent in the wallet. Now they call you, have a quick chat and fax your script to your local chemist. No charge. That’s time and money saved.
Oh, I thought that was the last one but no, I just thought of one better. Click & Collect means no more dreaded walks through your supermarket. Come on people, it even had a name, the Coles walk. We all did it. Held the phone to our ear, pretending to talk, or checked out aisles for those to avoid before wheeling off in a different direction. So much time wasted in the boring nappy aisle avoiding people – and I don’t even have a baby. Now I just sit in the car and it’s all popped in the boot.
Anyway, as you can see, it’s all a win-win. Feeling inspired! Just sayin’…