October 26th, 2020Just sayin’…

Now, like most right-minded people, I hate these meetings. I don’t have a camera on my desktop so have to organise the iPad at just the right angle so I don’t have five double chins. I made the mistake of holding it for a few meetings but after about 20 minutes you tend to lose feeling in your arm – and it starts to slip down. Never a good look for anyone over 50ish.
It also means I have to think about what I am wearing, well the top half anyway. If the pandemic has done nothing else it has been the best promoter of leisurewear – let’s call them trackies. Personal hygiene may have slipped as well. Kyle was talking to someone the other day, on the phone, and said “we change our minds more than we change our undies”, thought about that for a minute and added, “well, we change our minds a fair bit”.
Anyway, when I get up I tend to find whatever was left on the floor the night before and drag that on. Yes, of course, I later shower and change. But, you know, just for the start of the day. And then sometimes I look down and think “hmmm, that spag bol was a pretty tasty dinner”.
So an online meeting means changing into a nice top, maybe some earrings, brushing hair and putting on make-up. Even lipstick, which has pretty much gone the way of the dodo with the mask-wearing caper happening. My Mum always said a slick of lipstick meant you were ready for the day but all it means to me is that the inside of my mask is now a pinky-red.
And then the meeting itself. Believe it or not I am not an aggressive person. I tend to wait in line for my turn, and wait for my turn to speak. But with these platforms, and we are talking business not family, it can be hard to speak up. The loudest tends to win the mike and the loudest tend to be the blokes. And my meeting the other day was with five of them and just me. “Urgghhh” I got out one time, then boldly went with “wrrhhgh” and finally got up the courage and almost shouted “blurrggog”. Nothing. OK, I might have got a few sentences in when the aforementioned blokes were tiring of talking and reached for their coffees. And I made the most of it.
Talked for at least two minutes and I think I was making my point pretty well until a little blurb came up saying “someone has logged you out of the meeting”. WTH? By the time I found the email with the code and logged back in, I just managed to catch a few “great meeting”s and “see you later”s and it was over. We meet again in a fortnight and this time I will be ready. No change of top, no make-up, and while they are wondering what the hell happened in Glenlyon, I will take the floor. Pivoting never looked worse. Just sayin’…