A revamped Victorian Government emergency services levy is set to rip $140 million from rural communities annually according to a new analysis, prompting urgent calls from rural councils for the tax to be scaled back. 

The new Emergency Services and Volunteer Fund represents a 150% tax hike on some rural landholders, when compared to the Fire Services Levy it is designed to replace, according to Rural Councils Victoria (RCV).

Hepburn Shire Council CEO Bradley Thomas says the Hepburn Shire Council supports the analysis and recommendations put forward by Rural Councils Victoria.

“In the Hepburn Shire, the projected increase is expected to raise from $3.21 million to $5.42 million,” Mr Thomas says.

“Council has written to the Victorian Treasurer expressing concerns about the new tax, its potential impact on rural communities, and the unfair expectation that councils should act as debt collectors for the State Government.”

“This new levy is dreadfully unfair. It’s going to smash farm budgets, hurt local businesses and cause job losses in our towns and communities,” RCV Chair Cr Rob Amos has warned in recent days.

“Every extra dollar we send to Spring Street is a dollar that can’t be spent in a local business or used to pay an employee.” 

Aside from the weather, financial stress is a recognised contributor to poor mental health among farmers. 

“Everybody agrees our emergency services need a boost,” Cr Amos said.

“This new levy will hit Victorian farmers the hardest. How does that make any sense after years of drought and amid a cost-of-living crisis?”.

“At the very least this new tax burden should be shared equally amongst all Victorian landholders.” 

The RCV says it’s also concerned by the state government’s refusal to guarantee that money raised by the levy will only be spent on local CFA and SES crews, equipment and infrastructure. 

Rural Councils Victoria has written to the Victorian Treasurer, Jaclyn Symes, sharing this new analysis and raising its concerns.   

Other concerns RCV holds about this new levy include: 

• Rural councils will be required to collect this new annual levy through rates notices and then pass the money onto the state. However, forcing local governments to collect a Victorian Government tax is unfair. The State Revenue Office exists for this exact purpose and should be the vehicle for collection. 
   
• There’s nothing to stop the Victorian Government increasing the levy in the future. This contrasts with local councils, which have been subject to a rate cape of 2.38% (average over 10 years). The rate cap is essentially a cap on council funding for local services and infrastructure. Either way, the new levy should be capped also, or subject only to scheduled increases. 
   
• The Victorian Government says CFA and SES volunteers will be exempt from the new ESVF levy. But this is only partially true, as the exemption will only apply to one rateable property. Most farmers hold the title for numerous rateable properties and will therefore still be required to pay a significant fee. 

“The Emergency Services Volunteer Fund levy isn’t scheduled to come into force until July,” Cr Amos said. 

“There’s still time for the Victorian Government to acknowledge the inequities and unforeseen consequences of this new levy and make changes.” 

Story based on a Rural Councils Victoria (RCV) media release & a Hepburn Shire Council media statement. Image: File

There’s about to be more four-legged friends at schools across Victoria as part of a Victorian government program to give students the wellbeing and mental health support they need. 

Deputy Premier and Minister for Education Ben Carroll visited Jacana School for Autism last week to announce that 101 schools across Victoria will receive a grant as part of the Animal-assisted Wellbeing and Engagement Program.

The schools will each share more than $1.7 million to implement new or expand existing animal-assisted wellbeing and engagement programs. 

The initiative aims to help students build confidence and social connections, enhance empathy and strengthen emotional regulation. 

Existing animal-assisted wellbeing and engagement programs in schools are already delivering these benefits and helping students to engage in learning more effectively, leading to improved attendance. 

Most of the programs support students through activities involving dogs and horses which are trained to work alongside their handlers. 

At some schools, students are improving literacy skills by reading books to dogs, others are building confidence and trust by working with horses. 

Some schools have a support animal trained to work at their school under the care of a certified handler, while other schools work with certified external providers to tailor weekly wellbeing and engagement activities for students. 

The state government is investing $4.8 million over three years to ensure more students can benefit from animal-assisted wellbeing and engagement programs at their school and prioritising services for students with disability and additional needs.

Round two grant applications will open to schools in Term 2.

Deputy Premier and Minister for Education Ben Carroll: “School can be a stressful time for some students and we know animals have a remarkable ability to help students feel safe and calm, so we’re making sure students who need this support most – can get it.”

“Our schools have a vital role to play in boosting the wellbeing of all our students, and this program will no doubt help our students in the classroom.”

Story based on a state government media release

The Beaufort CFA Brigade has received a new fire station … and a new heavy tanker.

As the CFA approaches its 80^th anniversary this week, the state’s Minister for Emergency Services Vicki Ward last Friday officially unveiled the station and handed over the new heavy tanker to the brigade. 

Beaufort Captain Tony Neville said the brigade, in its 151 year, was thrilled to be operating out the new state of the art station and using the new heavy tanker.

“Everything flows better,” Mr Neville said.

“All our trucks are all on the one bay, we used to have separate sheds and had to move cars around to get to equipment.

“I think it may have also helped with recruitment with five new volunteers waiting to do their General Fire Fighting training.”

The new station, which has relocated to 2-6 Racecourse Road, includes essential amenities such as a motor room with three drive-through bays, offices, workshops, operational areas, meeting rooms, change rooms for both male and female volunteers, as well as unisex ambulant facilities. Externally the station provides a car park, and a six-bay storage shed.   

The station is also home to a Local Command Facility, which provides additional support to the district and brigades during larger incidents.

The new heavy tanker includes important features to improve safety and reduce fatigue, with crew and vehicle roll over and burnover protection, a 4,000-litre water tank and electric rewind hose reels – helping improve their emegergency response capabilities. 

This is one of the 48 new heavy tankers being delivered as part of the state government’s $22.7 million investment into state-of-the-art appliances for CFA.

This week the CFA is celebrating 80 years of operation – and Beaufort is one of the oldest brigades in the state, celebrating its 150th anniversary last year. 

Beaufort Brigade has a proud history especially during World War I when many of its members enlisted and served overseas.

Beaufort provided more soldiers to the war effort than any other fire brigade in Victoria at the time with 13 of its 15 active members joining the Australian Imperial Force (AIF) for service abroad.

The CFA formed after a series of devastating fires in the summer of 1943-44 prompted the consolidation of the Bushfire Brigades Association and the Country Fire Brigades Association. 

Since this time, the CFA has become one of the largest volunteer-based organisations in the world – with more than 52,000 members across 1,200 brigades.

Minister for Emergency Services Vicki Ward: “CFA volunteers show extraordinary courage showing up for Victorians in emergencies – it’s a history they are rightly proud of.”

“We will always support them so they have everything they need to protect lives and communities.”

Member for Ripon Martha Haylett: “The Beaufort Fire Brigade has been protecting our community for over 150 years. Their dedicated volunteers deserve the very best station, vehicles, and equipment to respond to emergencies.”

CFA Chief Officer Jason Heffernan: “This new facility marks the beginning of a new part of this brigade’s history and one that will only improve the service the CFA provides for their local areas.”    

This story based on a CFA report and a state government media release. Image: Supplied, CFA

The Clunes Booktown on Sunday series is set to return on Sunday, April 13, with Jacqui Horwood in conversation with Fiona Hardy, author of Unbury the Dead.

Unbury the Dead is a fresh and pacey high-stakes drama with two irresistible heroines. Best mates Teddy and Alice are hired hands with flexible moral boundaries. Whatever the mess, they can be relied upon to fix it with no questions asked. But sometimes it’s not as simple as cleaning up.

Teddy is searching the suburbs for a missing teenager with her occasional sidekick Art, while Alice’s mission is to drive one of Australia’s richest men along Victoria’s east coast to his final resting place before anybody finds out he’s dead.

But when a surprise revelation sees their cases collide, Teddy and Alice turn the tables on their wealthy employers to shake out the truth.

The event takes place at 1.30pm at the old Clunes Railway Station and More details can be found at https://clunesbooktown.org.au/booktown-on-sunday/

The Hepburn Shire Council has advocated for additional support for regional local government at two key events held in recent days.

Last Friday (March 28) the Greater Ballarat Alliance of Councils (GBAC) quarterly meeting took place in Daylesford with mayors and CEOs agreeing on regional priorities they believe require federal government support and action. 

Council leaders advocated for an equitable share of government funding to ensure residents have access to adequate infrastructure and services. 

Hepburn Shire Mayor, Cr Don Henderson, said that regional councils need a commitment from government to improve access to housing, major transport networks, digital infrastructure and adequate funding to ensure the financial and communal success of our region. 

“The meeting was a good opportunity to come together to align interests and put forward a united voice,” Cr Henderson said.

“We need the Federal Government to further support regional councils to ensure their financial viability and community growth. It is critical that federal leadership commits to empowering local governments for the betterment of all Australians.

“The time to act is now—with a federal election around the corner, adequate federal support for our region is long overdue. All parties in the election need to commit to supporting local government.”

The Hepburn Shire Council’s Mayor, a number of Councillors and the Chief Executive Officer also met with the newly appointed State Minister for Local Government, Nick Staikos, and local MP Mary-Anne Thomas last Friday to discuss the current opportunities and challenges facing the Shire. 

The Future Hepburn project, a once-in-a-generation program of major projects, was discussed and details as to how it intersects with the new ‘Plan for Victoria’ was released by the Victorian” Government.

“We are committed to protecting the region’s rural lifestyle while planning for future growth and meeting targets set by the State Government,” Cr Henderson said.

“Meeting directly with the Minister and Mary-Anne Thomas MP, gave us the opportunity to be upfront about the issues facing the shire.”

Other topics discussed included new waste service guidelines, the emergency services and volunteers fund and the shire’s Financial Vision. 

The council says it will continue to advocate for its community to ensure it can deliver key programs and projects now and into the future.

This story based on a Hepburn Shire Council media release. Image: Supplied

BirdLife Australia says this upcoming federal election is shaping up to be pivotal for birds and nature in Australia.

The nation’s peak organisation for conserving and protecting native birds is urging all Australians who appreciate native birdlife to get themselves a well informed birds’ eye view on how to vote in the best interests of protecting Aussie birdlife.

“After three years, we are yet to see the promised changes to our nature laws delivered – in fact last week we saw the government and opposition work together to rush through changes that made things worse for nature,” says James Matcott, Digital Conservation Campaigner with BirdLife Australia

“The stakes for Aussie birds are clear this election. Onehundred and sixty-four (164) native birds are listed as threatened, more than any other animal group.

“Forty-five percent (45%) of Aussie birds are unique to Australia, so it’s up to us to protect them.

“One in three (1 in 3) threatened Aussie birds can be found in urban areas, and this means that every electorate matters,” James says.

“But there is hope. But only we can give birds a voice that politicians can hear.”

BirdLife Australia is inviting everyone who has a soft spot for Aussie birds to check out GIVE AUSSIE BIRDS A VOICE to find out how to vote in the best interests of our feathered friends.

BirdsAustralia and dedicated birdos like James are also urging every Aussie who loves their birds to learn more about BirdLife Australia’s position this election, and find more ways to help local candidates support birds by going to the BirdsAustralia website.

Words & Image: Supplied

An unaccompanied learner driver has shocked police after being clocked doing 200km/h in Cranbourne North early on Sunday morning.

Casey Highway Patrol members were patrolling along Thompsons Road when they spotted two vehicles allegedly racing each other about 1am on Sunday, March 30.

One of the vehicles, a blue Volkswagen Golf R, was detected doing more than double the 80km/h speed limit, travelling at exactly 200km/h.

The driver allegedly turned off his headlights and fled the scene.

Officers located the driver in a nearby street as he was exiting the vehicle.

The 18-year-old Clyde North man’s vehicle has been impounded for 30 days at a cost of $1138.10.

On top of that, he can expect to be charged on summons with numerous offences including speeding, participate in unlawful street race, unaccompanied learner and fail to drive with headlights at night.

Investigations into identifying the driver of the second vehicle remained ongoing.

This story based on a Victoria Police report. Image: Supplied, Victoria Police

The state government is urging all Victorians to activate multi-factor authentication (MFA) on their devices to better protect themselves, their finances and their personal data from scammers and cybercriminals.

Minister for Government Services Natalie Hutchins launched MFA on the Service Victoria platform and made the appeal to all Victorians to take up the security measure.

Victorians lost more than $42 million to cyber scams last year with research showing only one in three Victorians used MFA to protect their online accounts. 

Multi-factor authentication – also known as two-step authentication – is an effective tool that Victorians should use to protect themselves from online threats. MFA is like locking a door with two locks instead of one.

The steps to use MFA are simple – just choose your preferred security combination:

• Step 1. Use a strong, unique password as your base layer of security
• Step 2: Confirm it’s you by using a second method, like a code sent to your phone or a fingerprint scan. 

This second step makes it much harder for anyone else to gain access to accounts, even if they know the password. 

Rowville Seniors Club member Jeff Lovegrove has heeded the message and turned on MFA for several of his online accounts, choosing a combination of authentication methods to keep his accounts secure.

Jeff said that activating MFA was a simple process. He has multi-factor authentication switched on for his banking and super fund, as well as facial recognition and a PIN code for his laptop and now feels more confident using these accounts with the added layer of security.

MFA should be used to protect Victorians’ most important accounts, such as an email account, online banking, social media, government accounts like Service Victoria, and accounts with personal information.

These service providers will usually ask or prompt users if they wish to incorporate MFA into their log-in. 

Minister for Government Services Natalie Hutchins: “Our message about multi-factor authentication is simple and clear – a strong password, combined with digital proof of identification, is the key to staying safe online.”

“Multi-factor authentication is an easy way to protect your most important online accounts, such as online banking, social media and government accounts – and we are asking all Victorians to take it up.”

Story based on a state government media release

The annual Blackwood Woodchop & Easter Carnival means lots of things to lots of people. Think woodchop, live music, kids’ events, market stalls, a parade, gumboot throwing, sack races, stalls, great food and, of course, Devonshire tea.

And right about now, it’s all coming together in readiness to host about 4000 people on Saturday, April 19 from 10am .

Committee member Angelko Juresko says the music line-up will be great with The Johnnys from Sydney and a few local bands organised to boot in order to keep toes tapping.  

“The music is good and that’s a relatively new addition to the carnival, it’s  only been here for a few years,” Angelko says.

“We also have the parade at 11am which is a crowd favourite. A lot of people like to watch the parade, which is led by a band, and then  follow it down to the reserve. It’s a lot of fun.”  

Angelko says the event has a big team, with about 19 people involved – plus another six from the Blackwood Progress Committee.  

“So that’s a fairly large group doing the organising and I think it’s worked really well. Everybody’s had a smaller job to do.

“In other years we have had people burn out  because they are doing too much but not this year. And everyone is committed to a  great day out.”  

Angelko says the woodchop has been going for more than 50 years and brings in quite a few people just to watch that event.  

“It’s just a great country festival and a fantastic day out. We hope to see everyone there. And I am looking forward to that Devonshire tea.”

If you’ve been thinking about how you can ‘give back’ to the community lately, then the Daylesford Neighbourhood Centre may be just what you’re after.

The Daylesford Neighbourhood Centre Committee of Management is looking for someone to act as committee secretary (minutes, agendas, must be computer literate).

The local committee is also keen to secure one to two new general committee  members as well,

“Previous committee experience not necessary,” a committee spokeswoman says.

“You would be joining an important community organisation, working with like-minded people who want to  give back to the Daylesford community and have fun doing so. “

Those interested should call chair Gina Lyons on 0405 533 557.  

Ever bought a flatpack and then struggled to put it together? Or bought a smart TV only to just keep on watching free-to-air programs?  Ever tried to connect your smart TV to your smart phone? If you answered yes to any of the above you need to Give Beck a Call.  

Hepburn Shire local resident Beck Lewis is ready, willing and able to take the hassles out of many of life’s  little, and big, problems.

She has always  loved putting her brain and hands to  work together, but it was only after she  had put Vegepod together for her mum  that she thought ‘I can do that for a  living’.  

“Mum was the one who suggested I  do this. She’s watched me grow up and  has seen what I can do, and who knows better than a mum! So that’s where the idea  came from.  

“I love puzzles and that is what it is like for me. I know I am good at it, and I  know a lot of people don’t like doing those sorts of things, or they get frustrated. I  just play to my strengths.  

“Smart TVs are the same. People sometimes just don’t know how to connect to  Chromecast, or to their phones, but I can help them do that, and download any apps  they might need, and best of all, show them how to use the technology.  

“I had a client who called me a few weeks ago. She bought a television four years  ago and had never connected it to the internet. So I helped her and now she can do it  all. By the end she was the pro!”  

Beck said another client wanted to make sure all her gym equipment was correctly  installed and to carry out a few other tasks about the house.

“And when I was there  I noticed her split system was not working that well so I cleaned the filter for her as  well. I just like to help out where I can. It gives me a lot of satisfaction – and I clean  up really well afterwards – and I just love my work. I don’t do everything but I do a  lot, even hang curtains, people just need to give me a call and ask.”  

Some people might recall Beck from a story in The Local two years ago. After  discovering a small lump she was diagnosed with breast cancer and used her story to  promote breast screening.  

“I am due for my two-year check up next month but it’s all good so far. I just  wanted women to make sure they did the screening, whether it’s at the BreastScreen  bus or in Ballarat. It’s free and easy. I think I did encourage quite a few women to  take up the opportunity – which is great.”

Give Beck A Call on 0476 656 752.  

I really need to drop the kids off at the pool, build a log cabin, drop anchor, grow a tail, lay some cable, let the dogs out… you know, do a number  two.  

But I am not allowed. Not for six months now.  And, one day, in the near future, it just ain’t going to be pretty. I have Hepburn Shire Council to blame.  Last year I diligently jumped through hoops, made my way through obstacles and asked “how high, sir?” so HSC would allow me to turn one bit of land into two.  

One of the headscratchers was a water garden,  pictured, which was insisted on by one of the many officers who float in and out of  employment in the hallowed halls of HSC’s planning office.  

But it’s not entirely true that we had to install said water garden, we were, in fact,  given a choice. The first was to install a water garden which is a soak pit for the tank  overflow, if any.

Historically the overflow had been making its way out to large gutters  in the main street of Glenlyon for more than 150 years.  

The second was to put $5000 into the council coffers. I kid you not. The garden  was obviously the cheaper option but even if it wasn’t I would have rather paid  $10,000 for the garden than donated to the council’s Christmas party.  

But back to my toilet tantrum.  Part of the deal was to close off my septic pit, one that never gave any trouble and  was in perfect working order. But I am for tweaking things especially when it comes  to environmental issues.  

So, I dropped a further $14,000 on a new fandangled septic system in September  last year which the good people from Ballan Plumbing installed in a day with little  interruption.

The paperwork was quickly expedited to the body that made me install  the thing in the first place, yes, HSC, along with a command that we don’t use the  toilet until they sign off on it.  That was in September and it is now March. A long wait for a long drop. WTF.  

Meanwhile, the latest big council news is that HSC are asking for more rate  money, in fact a 10 per cent hike from all ratepayers. But I have to pose a question – if we hand over more money to HSC will anything change?

Ten per cent is a lot of  extra money to find and I am sure they need it, but so do I.  I am not sure what the alternative is to handing over the money because I can’t  see another council absorbing our debt and issues. Who would want that? Macedon  Ranges? Mt Alexander?

So, what happens if the HSC can no longer afford to keep  the lights on and no neighbouring council wants to pick us up?

Would the state  government have to step in and find commissioners to get us back in the black?

And how did all this start? Well, it is no secret that the Inspectorate report has  been leaked all over Facebook by “Council Watch” and most of the answers are there.  

We have had it in our possession for a couple of years but given some of the  litigious players in the report and a sense of self-preservation for our small newspaper  we haven’t been able to release it into the public domain.  

As we always said it is a very interesting read. And I am sure that a lot of the  planning criteria was fast-tracked. I bet they didn’t have to install a water garden or  wait six months to go for a poo.  If you see me around, be kind and don’t give me the shits.  Won’t be pretty, rant over….  

Rosemary Hodgson, one of Australia’s finest lute players, presents a magical afternoon of lute music in the excellent acoustics of Yandoit Cultural next month.

The lute, an instrument of quiet contemplation, explores both sound and silence in this charming program.  The concert will feature works by Philip Rosseter, Robert Johnson and John Dowland.

Some of Rosemary’s music will be played on a 16th century lute.

An Australian lutenist, Hodgson maintains a vibrant career as soloist and chamber musician. She has established an international reputation for outstanding concert presentations and solo lute recordings of captivating subtlety.

A graduate of Melbourne University studying with John Griffiths, she completed her post graduate studies at the Royal College of Music London, with Jakob Lindberg. 

With a strong passion for music education, in 2019, Rosemary curated the inaugural Four Winds Lute School in Bermagui NSW, and in 2024 launched the Melbourne international Lute Festival in her hometown. 

She is a founding member of world-renowned period instrument ensemble La Compania and teaches lute at the University of Melbourne, Conservatorium of Music.

Where & When: Sunday April 6^th, at 3.00pm, at Yandoit Cultural-the old church in the bush, Uniting Church Rd, off High St, Yandoit.

Cost:  Suggested donation- $20/15  Bookings: https://yandoitcultural.org/bookings/

with Marita McGuirk

Early on a cool morning in November, I was driving along King Street, Daylesford, when I saw what appeared to be a small bird, lying on the road. As I drove by a slight  movement from the bird caught my eye.

It could have been caused by wind, but I pulled  my car over to check, just in case it was still alive.

It was a New Holland honeyeater, and it was alive, but hurt in some way. I knew it needed expert care, so I took it to the Hepburn Wildlife Shelter.  

The bird was assessed and diagnosed as having a broken leg, as well as concussion and possible bruising to the lungs. It was placed in the incubator, where its environment could be regulated.

Luckily for this bird, Gayle and Jon have many years of experience caring for injured wildlife, with a speciality in injured birds.  

The little honeyeater stayed at the shelter for several months, so that the broken bone could repair. The bird then had to undergo rehabilitation and regain flight fitness.  

I received the call that the bird was ready to be released back into the wild.

Honeyeaters  are nectar feeders and they don’t have a specific home range but follow flowering events.

Jon suggested that I find a location close to where I had found the bird, where there were some plants flowering, so that there would be an available food source.  

So I went for a walk at Wombat Flat. Soon I came across a large banksia spinulosa in flower near Lake Daylesford. While I was looking at the flowering banksia a New Holland honeyeater flew into the large shrub. I thought this was a good sign.  

Back at the shelter, Jon placed the lucky little honeyeater into a transport cage, and I carried it to my car and drove to Wombat Flat.

Once I was back under the banksia, I opened the transport cage door and stepped back. The little bird flew straight up into the banksia. It was only in the  branches for half a minute when another New Holland honeyeater joined it.  

Then to my amazement this bird started hopping around the released bird, chirping and putting its beak onto the bird’s head. This went on for a short time and it looked like a happy  reunion. To my delight both birds flew off together.  

Marita McGuirk is a field ecologist and environmental scientist, and a volunteer at the Hepburn Wildlife Shelter. Marita will write monthly columns about the shelter and the animals it cares  for. If you would like to donate or volunteer, or just to find out more information, head to  www.hepburnwildlifeshelter.org  

By Donna Kelly  

We went to our first gay  wedding a week ago. In Sydney.  It was fantastic. Very casual,  in a cafe in Surry Hills. Great celebrant called Zoe.  

I met one of the grooms, Steve  Dow, back in Frankston Leader days, but he was always destined for bigger things. Including his  husband as it turns out.

More about that later.  Anyway Steve is a freelance  writer and author and so I have  asked his permission to run a piece from his speech on the night. It is an essay he wrote 20 years ago, in 2005, that was published in The Age, and titled All my friends are getting married.  

“There are certain delicious, subtle things about being a gay couple, out of the  range of society’s radar. Hands furtively held on the armrest in the cinema, or a covert brush against one another in the street.

“My partner – also named Steve – and  I moved house from Melbourne’s Prahran to Sydney’s Darlinghurst and, in doing  so, gained such liberties.

“Public affection between persons of matched sex is not the done thing in Chapel Street on a Saturday night. That is Oxford Street behaviour, on  dedicated Mardi Gras evenings.  

“Most intimate relationships around us already come with a tradition of public  affirmation: gifts and ribbons and cake and speeches follow solemn vows between a  man and a woman, to the exclusion of all others, for life.

“Other relationships, such  as ours, tend to inch along in a linear fashion, unmarked by pomp, although the  signifiers are clear to those who care to notice the detail.  

“Steve and I have never been much for bouquets. But contemporary same-sex  marriage debates do make me ponder if I would like that public approval, and  moreover the legal protection of a piece of paper that confirms I hug the same guy on  the couch every night.  

“Steve and I met one surprisingly sober autumn night in April 1999 at the Sir  Robert Peel Hotel in Collingwood during a men-only monthly dance party marketed  as, ahem, Throb.

“Climate is something of a conduit for fidelity: Melbourne’s winters  can be long, so gay boys begin their annual hunt to partner up against the cold.  

“It was dark in the disco, but I chose well. He was dancing tall and alone with his  shirt off in a corner, showing off his squarely constructed shoulders. Classic square  jaw. ‘Hi,’ I might have said, ingeniously. ‘Hi.’ He smiled.  

“‘Want some water?’I asked, proffering my half-full bottle, which I suddenly no  longer saw as half-empty. ‘Sure.’  

“We danced off centre stage together. A cheap date, even considering the $5  door charge. He’d seen me some weeks earlier, marching up and down Peel Street,  preparing for the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras, torso exposed with fairy  wings strapped to my back, a little white wrap around my butt. A Melbourne  Marching Boy in miniature.  

“We barely fitted in his small one-bedroom South Yarra flat that first year, but  we were happy. He quickly dubbed me Mini Me, after the small person in the Austin  Powers films. Naturally, I named him Bigger Me. It’s the closest we edge to tactility as  a public couple. I can’t tell you where my wings flew.”  

Fast forward 20 years and in his 2025 wedding speech Steve said:  “After 25 years together, and more than seven years since marriage equality was  achieved, the question has become, ‘Why get married now?’, with the implication  ‘what took you so long?’, to which my answer is, this is to celebrate Steve and I  making it this far.

“We want to mark the occasion with friends and family as well as  to thank you for accepting us for who we are. We want to respect and celebrate our  respective differences with one another.  

“We also have an eye to looking after one another as we get older, especially after  being reminded of our mortality with the loss of mine and Steve’s parents. So, there’s  the legal certainty that we are one another’s significant other.

“And the other question  is ‘who proposed to whom?’, to which I have no answer – it’s been a long road to get  to this point, and the detail gets lost in the martini mists of time.”  

Congratulations Steve and Steve – and many thanks for the honour of inviting us  to your wedding. We had a blast – best wedding ever. And while it’s early days, may I  say I think marriage becomes you. Just sayin’…