In the winter of 2021, I remember doing a call around the real estate agents for our now non-existent Country Life podcast. The market was absolutely red hot and a lot of building had started – if you could secure a builder, and properties’ days on market were off the charts.  

I replayed a couple of interviews from that time to refresh my memory and put a smile on my face after a long day this week talking to buyer’s advocates about the current state of the market, which you will find in our House.Land.Home real estate  feature in this edition.  

The worrying topics then were around infrastructure in our shire and how we  would cope with all the new residents.

According to one agent, a particular house  was listed for just shy of a million and after several (sight unseen) buyers had a bit of  a bidding war over Facetime, it was sold for $1.3 million in just a few hours. Ah, the  good old days.  

So during Covid, there were three buyers competing for each property, often  bidding above the asking price to secure a house.

Post Covid, we had two buyers  negotiating close to the asking price. Then interest rates started to climb, creating one  buyer for every five houses.

Now with the cost of living and higher taxes, there is one  buyer for every 10 houses.  I am no expert, unlike the Reserve Bank, so please do your own research and do  not base decisions on what I have to say.

But it isn’t that hard to figure out what to do  if you are ready to move on, upgrade, downsize or sea change.  

The state of the market is the same everywhere in regional Victoria, whether you are talking about the not-so-regional Mornington Peninsula, the Bass Coast or our own little bit of paradise here in Central Highlands.  

Therefore, it seems if you buy and sell in the same market you are not going to  lose your shirt. If your real estate agent tells you your expectations are too high, you  should probably believe them or get a second or third opinion.

If you can’t sell for what you need, don’t sell, if you don’t have to.  

There has been a market correction for a bunch of reasons. The first is a natural  correction off the back of the pandemic panic buying.

The second is the money grabbing state government who have pushed a raft of taxes through on investors, second home owners and accommodation operators.  

They have absolutely hobbled our real estate market with overlaying taxes and fees  that have made investors go to other states. Whether it be commercial or residential investors the story according to the three buyers’ advocates is the same.

There must  come a point when we, the people, have no more to give.  It simply doesn’t seem to pay to try to get ahead of the game through blood, sweat and tears only to be smashed over with taxes from both federal and state  governments, and then we have Hepburn Shire  Council going for a 10 per cent rate rise.  

It only took a couple of years to find  ourselves in this situation and perhaps it’s only going to be a couple of years and a change of state government to get us out.

But you can’t  live on hope or a crystal ball. So if you are in the enviable position of owning your home and wanting to sell it, my advice to you, for what it’s worth, is to buy and sell in the same market.  No expert rant over…  

On a recent road trip, a couple of weird things happened that made me shake my head at the universe.

Now if you think this yarn is going down into the potholes and dickhead drivers  subject I am normally red hot on, you are wrong.

This is a tale on the path of embarrassment, horror and fear.  

The first part of the journey was a night in a hotel up the road a bit, in Albury, which is where the embarrassment came into play. I am not one for public speaking and try to avoid the spotlight as much as possible. In fact, Donna does all the ABC  Radio Paper Chase segments, not because it is some ungodly hour of the morning, but  because I simply don’t like the sound of my own voice.

At funerals, weddings and any time that I am required to offer a quivering-voiced piece of advice I start by saying  “I’ll keep this short and sweet”.  

Anyway, I found myself in a line to sign in and get my keys for the night at the hotel when a rather rattled elderly man jumped the queue to ask the staff for assistance. He explained to the reception team an older woman had fallen down some stairs.

The reception team didn’t seem to be worried and kept processing the guests so this is where I fired into action and followed the guy saying to him “I can help, I  have a first aid certificate”.

I imagined the woman was lying on some steps in a dark stairwell needing my 40 years of back-to-back first aid certification I have been doing  since I was 17. At last, my skills and training would pay off.  

The man, with me hot on his tail, busted through a set of double doors leading into an auditorium with around 200 people seated, all looking my way. He yelled “I  have the medico, I have the medico”. Hello, stage fright.  

I made my way to the stage where I helped the poor old girl to her feet, which resulted in applause from the audience, and then it was literally exit stage left. Like a  scene from Thank God You’re Here.  

The next milestone moment of the road trip was in Maitland, NSW. Donna had chosen this place to stay for the night. I had glimpsed at the photos she showed me and it looked fabulous.

But we then rolled up to this rather ominous-looking building, in fact gargoyles perching on the rooftop wouldn’t have been out of place.  After checking in I went down to get a couple of things from the car and said  to the receptionist “please don’t tell me this place was an old hospital?”.

“No,”she  replied, “this place used to be a Catholic orphanage”.

I asked if there were any ghosts but “only if you believe” she replied.  So I self-medicated with wine to get to sleep, as I am a little sensitive to these things, and as I nodded off, Donna asked what was wrong with my breathing?.  

I told her I felt like there was something heavy on my chest and then slipped into an alcoholic-induced slumber until about 2.30am when I was woken by the pitter patter of little feet running up and down the hallway. I was awake for hours after that,  hearing all sorts of things that went bump in the night.  

As the morning light started to come into the room I managed to get a bit more  sleep and when we finally woke around seven, I told Donna my tales of terror and showed her some rather deep scratch marks on my stomach.

She is not a believer but  she had also heard the constant running up and down the hallway.  A quick Google of the place in question revealed it was not uncommon to hear such tales, in fact there is a whole web page devoted to it which include a groom-to be feeling someone pressing on his chest and yelling “get out, get out”.  

Embarrassment, horror and fear rant over…  (Ed’s note: I am not a believer but I won’t be staying there again. Very strange.)  

The Maine Piano Guerrillas may have been a hit during the Castlemaine Fringe Festival – but they are not giving up the gig just yet.

The MPG’s project saw 10 pianos placed around the town, meaning there were  plenty of impromptu performances across the four weeks of the festival.  

But despite the festival being over, the pianos aren’t going anywhere. And it all  makes for a great story.

Helen Sandercoe told The Local that it all started seven months ago when three  people were having coffee at the Wesley Hill Market and one said “let’s put pianos  in for the Fringe – and then a couple of weeks later, one suggested to make piano  guerrillas our thing. And we were off.”  

Helen said the real guerrilla act was to put a piano in the underpass of the  railway. At midnight. “And feedback is that it’s changed how people feel about the underpass, they feel safer.”  

The pianos, mostly uprights, were sourced from “people who don’t want to keep  their pianos anymore and people who are moving”.  

“It’s that thing about brown furniture and, you know, no one in the family plays  the piano, so it just sits there. Then you sell the house and you try to leave it behind and the new owner says, no, you have to get rid of it.  “We had that story twice.

“Two of the piano owners had to get rid of them because  they’d not played them. But, of course, that’s a problem for an old piano because if  it’s not regularly tuned, then obviously all sorts of things can happen. And one of  them had rats inside – that was the player piano – but they’re all nice instruments. There’s a charm in them, a real charm.”  

The pianos will now stay where they are – ready to be played at any time. The  thought of vandalism is also there, but so far, so good.

Pop-up piano concerts are  more likely to be on the agenda.  Funding has come from Mt Alexander Shire Council in the form of a $500 grant but any other funding would be gratefully received.  

“We’re always up for more funding. Just to move the piano and tune them is  quite a bit. But we’d love this project to keep going and bring music happiness to this  area.”  

Another guerrilla, Greg Maxwell, said while he and Helen were not musicians,  they would love more to be involved in the future.  

“Lots of musicians don’t want to play in public but it seems to me that that’s exactly what we need. We need these people to come out and just share the piano as a  community instrument.  

“One of our young players, David, talks about it being like being around the  campfire, it changes the mood of people.  

“He says even playing for his family, everybody relaxes, the tone drops. They sit  and listen and enjoy his playing. And I think that’s what we’re trying to rediscover.”  

Helen said the guerrillas were moving from a group from saving pianos to being a  group that uses or activates the pianos by having pop-up concerts around the town.  

“We’ve come up with this idea of milk crate concerts where you bring a milk crate  and cushion, and you just sit there for half an hour and listen. And get to meet the  person next to you.”  

Greg said the stories of the pianos were often touching.  “One of the pianos came from Elphinstone and it’s at the Taproom. The family’s  great-grandmother or grandmother bought it 70 years ago in Bendigo and it’s stayed  in the family all this time.  

“The grandson told us the journey of it and how his father used to play it regularly  and then it got to the stage where they wanted to move it on. But they didn’t until the  Fringe.  

“And Maria, her story’s quite remarkable. She had this piano in Fryerstown that  was in a shed. It’s the one that’s in the underpass because it couldn’t be tuned. She told us this whole story about it, about how it had come with her when she left home and  she’d had it her whole life.  

“She was just so thrilled that we were giving this piano a new life. And if we do  swap it out, it will be the one that will go on the funeral pyre for a midwinter festival.  A final sort of viking funeral.  

“That’s the emotional relationship that people have with pianos. She knew it had  had this wonderful last few weeks of life.”  

Pictured, Maine Piano Guerrillas Helen Sandercoe and Alan Joyce .

Words: Donna Kelly | Image: Kyle Barnes  

Jobbo, formerly Neil Jobson but now mostly answering to just the nickname, has been known in the region for a long time as an artisan builder who sought out recycled products for his work.

But like many people, he wanted a change. One where he still worked for himself but out of the construction game. And it happened like magic.  

Jobbo popped into a barber in Daylesford for a haircut one day a few years back and was offered a job by the owner, Lesley.  

“I’d never cut hair before but I like doing new things. I just said, ‘yeah I’ll cut  people’s hair’, and then I realised I really liked it.”  

Jobbo kept working and then went to barber college, as he called it, for one year  and then opened up his own barber shop. At home. The Barefoot Barber.  (Although he did briefly have to return to building, to create his own very  “recycled and rustic yet warm and inviting” studio in Coomoora.)  

“I love it. I genuinely love it,” he says.  “I like the creativity. I like the connection. I like the conversation.  

“I like the fact that as a builder you spend a lot of time with someone over a short  period of time. This job is like the opposite. You spend a very short period of time  with someone over a very long period of time.  “And you just make good connections. It’s really fun.”  

Unlike many barbers, Jobbo is happy cutting hair for men, women and kids. One  of his most recent cuts was a fairy pixie cut for a female client and then there’s bobs, undercuts and shags.

Men usually choose a fade or a mullet – as Jobbo says, a good  mullet will never go out of style. Business in the front, party in the back.  

And every day people come armed with a photo hoping to look like their  favourite celebrity. Jobbo’s response?

“I just give them the haircut.  

“I think it’s pretty amazing that you can set up a small business out the back of  Coomoora and people can come and get a haircut without it being in the main street.  

“I end up meeting people and they come back in a few months. You have  conversations, you get to know them. I just want to say thank you to everyone who  comes out and gets their hair cut.”  

Words: Donna Kelly | Image: Kyle Barnes 

I really need to drop the kids off at the pool, build a log cabin, drop anchor, grow a tail, lay some cable, let the dogs out… you know, do a number  two.  

But I am not allowed. Not for six months now.  And, one day, in the near future, it just ain’t going to be pretty. I have Hepburn Shire Council to blame.  Last year I diligently jumped through hoops, made my way through obstacles and asked “how high, sir?” so HSC would allow me to turn one bit of land into two.  

One of the headscratchers was a water garden,  pictured, which was insisted on by one of the many officers who float in and out of  employment in the hallowed halls of HSC’s planning office.  

But it’s not entirely true that we had to install said water garden, we were, in fact,  given a choice. The first was to install a water garden which is a soak pit for the tank  overflow, if any.

Historically the overflow had been making its way out to large gutters  in the main street of Glenlyon for more than 150 years.  

The second was to put $5000 into the council coffers. I kid you not. The garden  was obviously the cheaper option but even if it wasn’t I would have rather paid  $10,000 for the garden than donated to the council’s Christmas party.  

But back to my toilet tantrum.  Part of the deal was to close off my septic pit, one that never gave any trouble and  was in perfect working order. But I am for tweaking things especially when it comes  to environmental issues.  

So, I dropped a further $14,000 on a new fandangled septic system in September  last year which the good people from Ballan Plumbing installed in a day with little  interruption.

The paperwork was quickly expedited to the body that made me install  the thing in the first place, yes, HSC, along with a command that we don’t use the  toilet until they sign off on it.  That was in September and it is now March. A long wait for a long drop. WTF.  

Meanwhile, the latest big council news is that HSC are asking for more rate  money, in fact a 10 per cent hike from all ratepayers. But I have to pose a question – if we hand over more money to HSC will anything change?

Ten per cent is a lot of  extra money to find and I am sure they need it, but so do I.  I am not sure what the alternative is to handing over the money because I can’t  see another council absorbing our debt and issues. Who would want that? Macedon  Ranges? Mt Alexander?

So, what happens if the HSC can no longer afford to keep  the lights on and no neighbouring council wants to pick us up?

Would the state  government have to step in and find commissioners to get us back in the black?

And how did all this start? Well, it is no secret that the Inspectorate report has  been leaked all over Facebook by “Council Watch” and most of the answers are there.  

We have had it in our possession for a couple of years but given some of the  litigious players in the report and a sense of self-preservation for our small newspaper  we haven’t been able to release it into the public domain.  

As we always said it is a very interesting read. And I am sure that a lot of the  planning criteria was fast-tracked. I bet they didn’t have to install a water garden or  wait six months to go for a poo.  If you see me around, be kind and don’t give me the shits.  Won’t be pretty, rant over….  

The Scotty Camburger is the latest offering from the Daylesford Seafood Bar.  It’s named after Scott Cam, one of the two faces of The Block, which is now  filming at Raglan Street at the eastern entrance to the town.  

Meanwhile Shelley Craft, the other on-air talent on the show, is loving Daylesford  where she now heads every week from her home in Byron Bay.  

“I just love the actual feeling of a small town. You go into every store and  everyone knows everybody else who comes in. They might not know us particularly,  but they say hi to all the other customers, like their friends.

 “And I really appreciate that, being from a small town myself. But just that idea,  I think, of being able to get off site, and for the intensity that happens here every day,  for our crews and for the contestants themselves, and all the production, to actually  take a step back and just slow down a little bit on those few hours a week they have  off, is a really lovely thing.  

“It’s a bit like Enid Blyton’s The Magic Faraway Tree – every season we pop up and  land somewhere else and go, what on earth does this world have to offer us?”  

Scotty, who is still looking for a favourite pie, said the welcome from the town  and community had been terrific.  

“I’ve rented a really nice, lovely, quaint cottage. And that’s the beauty of our job,  that we get to experience the town for three months. It’s not just like a fly-in business.  We live here, we immerse ourselves. I rent a house, I live in it, so I live in a different  household every year. So that’s really fun. And my wife comes and visits. She’s  coming next weekend for a week.  

“And then we love going out for tea, and all the great restaurants and pubs. We  went to the Lake House last night, and it was incredible.”  

Shelley said the news about Daylesford being the latest home for The Block had  got out ahead of time and she hoped the contestants had done their research into the  region.  

“They should have been looking at what houses they can design here that are  really going to suit the market. And that’s where Scotty and I come in on Fridays,  where we say, hey, you might have missed the mark here. Have you seen the eclectic  lifestyle, the amount of colour that’s in town? Bring in the natural environment.

“Don’t just build a house that you can build anywhere. Build something specific  for Daylesford that’s really going to appeal to the audience that A, already lives here  and might be looking for an upgrade, or B, is really going to attract new locals to the  area. So, yeah, we’re trying to every week go, Daylesford, Daylesford.  

“And we are hoping that they have enough time in their week to get out and  actually explore the area a little bit so they get those tiny details right. Yeah, see who  comes here. See who wants to live here. Is it a family? Is it single people?

“Who’s  buying in the town and what style are they looking for? That’s the key. If you build a  house that people aren’t looking for, they just go next door.”  

Scotty said the show would leave a few legacy projects around the region.  

“We do (this) every year. We do a community centre, something to that effect.  We did a surf club last year and we get our sponsors on board so we can generally tip  in quite a few bucks, like a lot, and do a reno that they would never do. And we try  and do that.”    

Hepburn Shire councillors and council staff, including Mayor Cr Don  Henderson and CEO Bradley Thomas, took the opportunity to take a tour around the site of The Block last Thursday. The Local tagged along.  

They met with Scott Cam and Shelley Craft along with other members of the  television show crew. Scotty told the councillors and staff the welcome from the town had been amazing with everyone friendly and happy.  

“(And) there’s 200 of us here roughly and we don’t provide catering for our team.  So 200 people have to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner in town somehow, whether  they cook it or buy it, or go to a restaurant.  

“So from our point of view, it’s great for the town. We always try and do a  community service as well, somewhere along the line.  

“We’ve also rented probably, I don’t know, 50 houses. And when we come to  a town, an original town like Daylesford, we go boots and all. We come in and we  really get involved and we love it.”  

Scotty said taking part in the ChillOut parade had also been amazing and would  be the first episode when The Block aired later this year.  

Shelley said she lived in a regional town, Byron Bay, and loved the lifestyle that  is on offer.

“So I feel responsibility to introduce the rest of Australia to what regional  living is like. To somehow, through the show, show that little window of how  wonderful regional living can be. And perhaps encourage other city slickers to get out  a little bit more, even if it’s just on the weekends.

 “We’re not sure what audience these homes are going to bring as far as buyers. We  hope that they end up being huge contributors to the town as well and integrate into  the community.”  

Image: Kyle Barnes  Words: Donna Kelly

I must admit I am a bit shaky right now, hives have broken out and a nervous tick has developed in my right eye.  

I think the reason for these new nuisances is trolling through the Covid  photos.  In 2020 there was a lot going on, we  had pivoted our publication to a weekly newspaper size and paper quality, which we only printed twice and then swiftly turned back to the magazine format, but we remained a free weekly publication for the next year.  

This tumultuous time, which included Donna’s mother passing away, not because of Covid but because of the disruption the virus had caused in hospitals, staffing situations and sheer making it up as you go along scenarios.  

My accountant Matt Richardson from Cooke and Foley in Ballarat had just had a newborn child which was adding to his stress levels. But he was on the other end of the phone helping me keep the air in the tyres of the business 24/7.  

Matt said something that stuck with me.

“If a pig had flown past the window at that point I would have simply acknowledged it, things were that crazy.”  

For me, if I had to pull my worst moment from the whole experience it would  have to be when former NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian asked at a press briefing for companies which could re-tool to make respirators and lots of them. Bloody hell….  

But through the haze and the noise I must have had the presence of mind to ask for and store our communities’ images.

Unfortunately, I have no idea who actually contributed those images, but please take the time to reflect on them, and thank-you to the good folks who sent them in.  

While a lot of people were stuck at home under the doona or cleaning out their pantries, we dug in hard here at TL HQ.

The first hard job was to let everyone go and snap back to the original team, just Donna and I. As we made the calls through tears and frustration, all of our crew said they would work for free for as long as it takes,  which caused a lot more tears.  

For obvious reasons, advertisers rang in thick and fast cancelling their adverts with the exception of a few, who although their businesses were in hibernation, wanted to make sure our community kept its newspaper.

The historical newspaper for Hepburn Shire, The Advocate, quickly closed its doors after a hundred years or so profiting off the community. But you know what they say when the going gets tough, the tough get going.  

So, we pivoted and worked hard. The paper would go to the printer on Sunday,  we would allow ourselves a Monday morning sleep in and start the next one on the Monday afternoon.

I would shoot people photos in my studio which was the Glenlyon Reserve, it had everything I needed – lots of fresh air, social distancing, light and shelter under the trees from the weather.

And here we are five years later and all I  can say is thank F #K that’s over. Covid anniversary rant over…  

Regular readers of my rhetoric will  know that I have been in a battle with Hepburn Shire Council over my subdivision that has taken around three years. (You may have read my latest rant in the last edition.)  

But it transpires that all you need is a newspaper for a soapbox and you can get a bit done around the place. With the final bits of sign-off emerging before the ink had dried on our last newspaper – the power of the press.  

Speaking of press and advertising, puffery is a legal term used when advertisers say something about their product that’s immeasurable; it can’t be about a measurable fact.  

For example, a business can say they are one of the most respected in the world or they have the best steak that money can buy – this cannot be measured due to the number of contingencies in the statement.  

However, if a business misrepresents itself by saying they serve the cheapest steak in the district (and it’s not) or an accommodation provider shows a photo of a view that is clearly not obtained from the lounge room, this becomes illegal puffery.

You are welcome.  

My tale about the wrong kind of puffery begins on last week’s post-Christmas family holiday in the sleepy New Zealand hamlet of Kaikoura, now pronounced Kaikouda, which means to eat crayfish. Which is one of the many activities this place provides, with its 2800-metre mountains only a couple of kilometres from the sea and the sea bottom plunging to below 300 metres only a mile or so offshore.

This place is spectacular and requires no puffery.  

In 2016 an earthquake struck the town, two people died and it was estimated that the seabed rose as much as three metres, forever changing the landscape.  

A lot of the houses were written off and a lot more owners were given money to repair their homes by the government. And there are some amazing residences.  

Unfortunately, the house that we picked for our small break which talked of beautiful bay views and an amazing location wasn’t one of them. It was the filled-in bottom half of a house tucked down a street with no views and when the owners moved around upstairs it felt like the ceiling was going to collapse.

And the creaking!  It was so bad that we felt that had an earthquake hit that weekend we would end up in a pile of rubble as the house collapsed on top of us.  

I asked the owner for a refund based simply on the noise, we only stayed there three of our seven nights, and she said her hands were tied, so we are now in an arm wrestle with Airbnb because apparently, we are covered by AirCover, an insurance policy they offer.  

Their first offer of support we have already refused. A refund of $100 against the $1600 we had already dropped on the place.  As we do, we’ll keep pushing for a better result. Let you know how that goes.  

Puffery rant over…  

This issue’s rant has two non-segued bits to it. I just wasn’t feeling clever enough to link them after witnessing that buffoon’s comments about clearing out the Gaza Strip and turning it into a resort. FFS.

Before the election I did write that it was on the cards as his son-in-law had been in Gaza measuring it up for renovation. But I can’t believe he actually announced it to the world in front of what looked like a very surprised Yahoo (hello World War III).

In his first little while of being in office his trade tariff wars against Canada and Mexico have been dropped in the time it took to spell fentanyl trafficking.  And a big FU tariff to China was met with an arrogant “you need us more than we need you” FU tariff back from China.

Now Trump has signed an executive order banning trans athletes from women’s sports – what a guy.

This stuff would be hilarious if it wasn’t keeping me up in the middle of the night.  And here is part two, and if a segue could possibly be drawn, it would be the juxtaposition of speed in terms of getting stuff done.

I do prefer methodical law-making but around three years ago I started on my journey of baffling bureaucracy with the Hepburn Shire Council’s planning department.  

I only wanted to realise a bit of value in my home of 20 years by subdividing a portion off the side. I live in a township zone, with no overlays, BAL ratings and am nowhere near a watercourse. I watch as homes spring up around me, some almost  afloat on the watercourse that leads into the Loddon River, and still I wait.

I have made the appropriate recommended changes to my abutting block where our house is, including the installation of a strange water garden, which was my choice. Well actually I was given an ultimatum for either a water garden for the gutter water to overflow into or $5000 donation to HSC.  

I also installed a new $14,000 septic system, and still I wait.  Lately I have been on the phone every other day with my new HSC friend,  Andrew. A great bloke who seems to have a “get it done” attitude and who even  managed to get me an address for the block. Thanks for that part.  But still I wait.  

The power has long ago been located to the boundary of the block, a driveway has been put in and a fence erected on the surveyor’s marks, but still I wait.  

I have currently dropped somewhere north of 70K on bureaucracy. I have always owned the land, nothing has visibly changed except for my bank  balance, and still I wait.  

I am a very patient guy who cuts most people a break, but how much longer can this drag on?  Waiting rant over. But still I wait.  

(Ed’s note: I can confirm that Kyle was on hold today for over 20 minutes after  being asked to wait while a planner went searching for our file. I also recall reading somewhere that HSC once provided a building permit over a weekend. Three years does seem a tad  long. Even if you were into tantric…)  

Blackwood – A Haven in the Hills is the name of a poem by the late Grace  Rayner. It is all about the village’s rich history and scenic beauty.  

And it has also provided much of the inspiration for new Blackwood Hotel owners Jerry and Jess.  The couple, with their two young children, have been locals of Blackwood for more than seven years.

They also have plenty of hospitality experience with other venues including two in Docklands where their Cargo and Berth, in conjunction with the Salvation Army, host annual Christmas Day Brunches for those less fortunate.  

So, they are local and know food, hospitality and kindness. A great combination.  

The fantastically renovated pub opened over the January long weekend and it has been pumping with plenty of local support, and visitors keen to find a real country hotel again.  

Kyle and I headed there on Saturday and were met by Jerry, as was pretty much every customer as they arrived. Along with meeting and greeting, Jerry is also hands-on with serving, pouring drinks behind the bar and even cleaning tables.

Busy but  relaxed and clearly enjoying his latest venture, Jerry showed us to our table by the window in the dining room. There’s also a  dog friendly verandah and an inviting bar.

We opted to leave the food selection up to  him – a great idea.  Three entrees arrived – the sizzling saganaki with peppered figs ($16), hummus with caramelised onion, sumac and flat bread ($12) and Asian glazed pork belly with sticky soy ($20). All fantastic.

I love saganaki but this absolutely hit the next level with the sweet and slightly spicy figs. Kyle’s favourite was the pork belly, tender meat  with crunchy crackling.  

Next up, the mains, a very decent sized Parwan Valley porterhouse with chips, salad and a huge round of garlic herb butter ($45) and the barramundi atop cashew cream with green beans, roasted tomatoes and a fennel and herb salad ($38).  

Jerry couldn’t have known but this was the perfect pairing. I am not much of a  meat eater but while Kyle rarely has steak, he pretty much ate the lot. “I don’t need a  steak knife,” was about all I got out of him for a while.  

Buying from Parwan Valley is just part of Jerry and Jess’ ethos to shop as local as possible. (They are also providing work for locals – with a crew of 20 plus –  Blackwood’s biggest employer!)  

The barra was amazing. Perfectly cooked with crisp skin and firm flesh atop the  veggies and cream. And these are big serves – no-one is going home hungry from Blackwood.

We didn’t do dessert, we couldn’t.

But there’s sticky date pudding and choc mousse ($15 each) and a seasonal sorbet ($12).  It’s not a huge menu but it covers all the bases and every dish is done well, something I think most people appreciate these days. I think the days of broadsheet sized menus is well and truly over – or should be.  

The Blackwood Hotel is a great country pub and I am sure it will be one of those places long talked about as it reclaims its place in the history of not only the town but also the region.

I love the “real” front entrance, not a side door, the nod to its past with some of the original wallpaper left up and framed, a front bar with a bar  you can actually sit at, staff with big smiles and the sound of friendly banter.  

Oh, I nearly forgot the drinks. Plenty of beers from the tap, a good choice of wines by the glass, nothing overly expensive. As I said, a good country pub.  See you there. I’d give you an address but just find Blackwood. You can’t miss it.  

Link: www. blackwoodhotel.com.au Words & images: Donna Kelly  

Landholders across the region can enjoy the benefits of having native vegetation on their property, under a local carbon offset project aimed at helping councils in Central Victoria reach their net-zero emission goals. 

Grow Towards Zero is a project managed by the North Central Catchment Management Authority with funding from the City of Greater Bendigo, Macedon Ranges Shire Council, Hepburn Shire Council, and Mount Alexander Shire Council. 

The project is seeking expressions of interest from landholders across the North Central CMA region or within the areas of participating councils. 

“We’re looking for landholders keen to have trees planted on their property to offset local carbon emissions and take on-ground climate change action,” North Central CMA Business Development manager Matthew Dawson said. 

“Native trees and shrubs bring all kinds of benefits to a property. As well as looking great, native vegetation means increased habitat for wildlife and can help reduce soil and wind erosion. Increasing native vegetation can also play a big part in helping owners pass on a healthier property to the next generation.” 

Grow Towards Zero is looking for individual sites where the combined planting area is five hectares or more, or a group of neighbouring landholders looking to create corridors of native vegetation. 

“Undertaking revegetation on private property can be costly. This program addresses this by using carbon offset needs to source and plant the trees and shrubs and maintain them for two years,” Mr Dawson said. 

The first round of expressions of interest for the project is open until March 31.

The project will develop a portfolio of potential sites, with intentions to stagger implementation on a selection over the coming few years. 

Hepburn Shire Council Facilities and Circular Economy manager Sean Ludeke, pictured inset, said: “Grow Towards Zero demonstrates the power of local and regional collaboration on climate action, uniting landowners, council and the North Central CMA to create biodiversity habitat and build in stronger resilience to climate impacts here in the Hepburn Shire.” 

Link: www.nccma.vic.gov.au/grow-towards-zero

Words: Kyle Barnes 

ChillOut president Matt Clarke was born and raised in regional Victoria in the small town of Wycheproof.

The youngest of six kids, life was all about “heavy” farming, agriculture and local sport. “And then you finish school and move away and come up with whatever you’re going to do for the rest of your life,” he said. 

“I was a bit lost when I left school, I didn’t really know what I was going to do. I could have been a lot of things. I wanted to be a vet, I wanted to be a paramedic. I wanted to be a heap of things. But I had a really underlying passion for horses and the equines.” 

Not into doing things by halves, Matt headed to a big harness racing stable in Great Western, Victoria and spent the next 15 years there, on and off, training horses and competing all over Australia and New Zealand. 

It was a hard life, but one he loved, with the only downside the region and industry not offering the chance to open up as “a proud gay person, or lesbian or trans”. 

“That just wasn’t something that would happen. I mean, I was never scared to come out and I had to my family, it was just the environment you were in. It was a challenging space. But, you know, if people believed or had an idea that I may have been gay, that’s fine, and if someone was to ever ask me, I would have talked about it.

“But in such a small community people just had their own views and mindsets, and that is just how it was.” 

After a while Matt, doing that full-on thing again, moved to Ballarat for “the love of my life – but that didn’t work out”. 

He puts the end of the relationship down to a few things including having his mum pass away from a quick and sad death from melanoma. 

“That was really challenging. I was extremely close to my mum. So I guess that played on a lot of the emotions and the challenges of a relationship.” 

Matt said he remained in Ballarat but was lonely and without a tribe. 

“I’d been to ChillOut a number of times, viewed the parade, been to Carnival Day and just immersed myself in that from a distance. And then there was a call-out for a meet and greet for potential committee members. 

“It was a workshop day where you were asked to talk about yourself, like is there something that is going to let us know a little bit about yourself. I got up and I explained to the group about two tattoos that I had put there after my mum had died.

“One thing she always said to me was that she didn’t want me to have a challenging and difficult life as a gay person and before she died she told me to be strong and she told me to be happy. 

“The first tattoo on my left arm is a symbol of strength. And then the second tattoo on my right arm is a symbol of happiness. I look at them every day and they remind me of those powerful words. I shared that story to a group of strangers and just burst into tears.” 

Matt learned more about ChillOut and its history and “a little bit of a fire was lit”. Next thing he was on the committee and then the president. 

“It’s been great. A really satisfying journey on a personal level of growth and development and connection.

“It’s also seeing the festival continue to evolve, also in terms of engagement from community stakeholders and sponsors.

“We’re up to our 28th consecutive festival and rolling into our 30th anniversary, which is really exciting.” 

Matt joined the committee in the first year of Covid. A challenging space, he says.

“We all had to learn about Skype and Teams and FaceTime calls and how do we communicate. And then the ever-evolving process of, are we allowed to be together? What do the spaces look like? 

“The festival did go ahead in a live space, down at the amphitheatre at Hepburn Springs with big circles drawn on the grass and people having to sit within their circle. They essentially had to be self-contained.

“And the flagship event of the weekend, the parade, took a whole new turn. It was done virtually and we asked our supporters to record a clip of themselves in full gear or costume and we blended them into a streamed parade. And we took that as a tick, it was a festival.” 

Matt said this year’s ChillOut would offer many of the loved activities like the Bush Dance, the Grand Parade, Carnival Day, the Youth Muster and the Friday night opening which will be held in the Big Top at Victoria Park instead of the currently under renovation Town Hall. 

The theme for the weekend is Circus, which gives people plenty of scope for fun outfits which relive the fun times of country carnivals and circuses. 

Matt said his many skills from the equine industry and also in sales and management had given him a great skillset for ChillOut and he was loving the role.  

“One of the things that we love is seeing all of the businesses get involved in the festival. I mean, there are many queer-owned businesses in Daylesford and those that aren’t are just as welcoming to a queer community in regional Victoria.

“When the committee members go down and line the streets with our bunting, many of the businesses ask if they can get more – because they love the festival.”

The ChillOut Grand Parade is becoming a bit of a circus but the Sunday, March 9 event in Vincent Street, Daylesford is shaping up to be a real crowd pleaser. 

The Amazing Mill Market director, and avid collector of weird and wacky stuff,rMark Ward is bringing in a new member of his family, and introducing her to the crowds on the day. 

Tipping the scales at 300 kilograms, but no fat shaming please, Elle is a fully motorised elephant. 

She was built in Disneyland for Myer Adelaide to attract more children to the store. But plans do sometimes go awry. 

Rather than attract more customers, Elle was so life-like she actually scared the kids away. And was quietly retired from her department store position. 

Luckily, Mark saw her merits, paid thousands for his new pet, and proudly drove her from Adelaide to Geelong in the back of his ute – gaining attention from numerous newspapers and even a police escort for part of the way. 

“Elle looks so alive, she blinks her eyes, moves her tail and flaps her ears. That was the best drive I have ever done.” 

Elle will be ridden down Vincent Street, decked out in circus gear, in keeping with ChillOut’s Big Top theme, and hopefully will not scare any children. 

Meanwhile, over at The Local, plans are underway for a clown car – complete with journalists and photographers. 

Editor Donna Kelly said TL HQ was generally “a bit of a three-ringed circus so it’s not too much of a stretch to put together the clown car float”. 

The Local is a media partner with ChillOut – a partnership which started in 2014. See you over the weekend! 

Words: Kyle Barnes

Mostly I charge my Tesla at home with a normal 10-amp plug, which means I  wake up in the morning with a full tank. That way I am ready to traverse the plethora of potholes we refer to as roads around the Hepburn Shire.  

But I got caught short a little the other day and found myself at the Daylesford Town Hall’s charger. I guess I should have picked up on the clue, which was the spider webs around the handle of the charger, meaning no one had been there for  a while.

It clearly wasn’t working and on further investigation it had been dead the whole time, well before Christmas right through to mid-January.  

While parked in the non-operational charging bay I noticed that out from under the barrier around the Town Hall renovations white liquid with paint flakes was pouring all over the footpath and flowing into the drains.

It was clearly coming from the works behind the screen and my guess was they were water blasting the paint off.  

And although on mere battery fumes I thought it my civic duty to report it to the council. To  council’s credit the fix was almost immediate, in the form of a guy with a hose blasting away the  evidence into the drains. WTF…  

Now the only other charger in the immediate area is at the Hepburn Mineral Springs Reserve,  which has two charging stalls but only one fitting suitable for a Tesla. So I limped along, by this time on four per cent battery capacity.

Luckily, a fellow  who had just plugged in and was about to enjoy a two-hour treatment at the Bathhouse, gave me his spot. Thank you kind sir.  

I bought the Tesla before Elon turned into even a bigger wanker than he was by  joining Trump and making a Nazi salute at the president’s inauguration last Monday.  

But I do think there is noticeably a lot more electric and hybrid cars on the road. In fact, over 120,000 EVs or non-ICE (internal combustion engine) cars were purchased  by Australians last year.  

Surely it’s time to do a bit better around the Hepburn Shire, where even in terms of tourists trying to come for a holiday, range anxiety is a huge issue.  

We have the land and I am sure there are a lot of grants around; besides tourism is a huge economic driver and our local economy is flailing.

For those in the world of EVs, charging is everything, destination charges such as the 50 amp at the bathhouse or the one in the main street of Daylesford (which doesn’t even rate a mention on the  Plugshare app) are okay if you are having a bit of lunch and you plan to be at a place for two to three hours.  

But we need a bank of serious superchargers somewhere in the Hepburn Shire,  ones that deliver 250–500 watts for a full charge in 20 minutes.  

We need this infrastructure not only so we can embrace the change to electric  and give locals choice as to what cars they have. We also need this infrastructure to  literally drive tourists up here.

I feel like all the amazing work that has been done by local businesses and various tourist affiliations over the years to create our village destinations will go to waste if we don’t keep up. EV rant over…  

Last drinks called for Radio Springs Hotel  Radio Springs Hotel has served its last drinks after 17 years providing  refreshments, and plenty of bar banter, with locals and visitors alike.  

The final day, Sunday, January 26, saw many people make their way to  the Lyonville pub to say farewells and reminisce about great times over the  years.  

The decision to close the doors came after owners Jackie Airey and Ken Parfrey started to think about the next phase of their lives.  

“We’ve been doing it for nearly 17 years now and we felt we might like  to move on,” Jackie said.

“However, on the weekend, two weeks ago, we had a sudden change in our staffing and we thought about it and whether or not  we had the energy to recreate what we’ve got.  

“We’re pretty picky about our staff so it would take us a while to find the  right people and train them up. And we thought, well, would it be right to do that for only a few months, take on new people and all that kind of thing?  So we thought maybe we’ll just call it now.”  

Jackie said what the next phase was remained unclear.  

“We haven’t really had a chance to decide all of that. We’d started  thinking about all those alternatives but we hadn’t really come to any conclusions yet. And so with this sudden decision to close we’ll just wait for  the dust to settle and then we’ll have a good think.  

“We don’t want to make a rushed decision, we want to make the right  decision.”  Jackie said deciding to close came with a sense of freedom but also sadness.

“If you could imagine all the possible feelings that anybody could  have at this stage, I think Ken and I are feeling all of them. It’s very hard to  describe, just think of anything and add it in.”  

Jackie said she and Ken never set out to create something as magical as Radio Springs and being at the “coal face”, didn’t realise how much it meant  to their patrons.  

“For us, we just created a place that we would like to go to. We just  trusted our sense of this is what we would like a pub to be. But we didn’t  realise that we’re so weird.  

“When we first started putting this all together and gathering stuff over  our long renovation, we had a chat about what kind of pub are we going to  be? And we thought nothing that we do is going to please everybody. And we  have to live here.  

“We’re going to be here 24 seven. And it’s going to be our lifestyle as well as anything else. So we had to feel comfortable and happy in it. We knew there would be some people who like it and some people who don’t. And  that’s how it’s worked out.”  

Jackie said their reincarnation of the Lyonville pub came after they bought the property to live in.  

“And then while we were here, people would drop in all the time and ask  us when we were going to open the pub and that they needed a pub, there wasn’t anything. Back then, that was in 1997, there wasn’t anything decent between Woodend and Daylesford.  

“That coincided with Ken and I feeling that we didn’t necessarily want to  stay in the careers that we had for much longer. And so we thought, maybe we’ll open it just as a B&B.

“And then the continued numbers of people  who were calling in made us think maybe we’ll expand that and open it as a pub. And then people said we need food. So it just really grew like Topsy, it became a bit of a juggernaut in and of itself.”  

Jackie said while there had been times which had provided challenges – like Covid – overall it had been a great part of their life.  

“I met so many people and got to the point where I would get such a  kick out of watching people enjoy themselves and listening to laughter and  watching people eat and really enjoy their food.  

“And there are a lot of people who have, through the hotel, become very  good friends of ours who we wouldn’t have met otherwise and we wouldn’t  have been able to welcome into our lives.”  

And the final word?  

“I want to thank all the patrons and customers and all the regulars and all the locals who have supported us over the years. Because really, without all of  those people, the pub’s just a pub.  

“I mean, it’s like a theatre or cinema. Unless you’ve got an audience, it’s  just celluloid. It’s just words in an empty space.

“You can be as quirky with your decor, as fancy with your food and as comprehensive with your wine list  as you like. But if you don’t have customers, it’s an empty space.”  

Words: Donna Kelly | Image: Kyle Barnes