WHEN I first started turning out these rants 10 years ago, the best subject matter I could dream up was potholes, drivers and idiots.
These days it’s as if I have woken up to the wider world. I am not sure if it’s my age, it’s certainly not that I ingest more mainstream news as that stuff is depressing.
But the news that does seep through to me is simply mind-blowing and quite frankly scary, literally the stuff of Hollywood blockbuster movies. But before I get to all that, I would like to make a quick remark on our un-car-worthy roads.
We recently completed a return trip up to the Gold Coast and as my huge fan base of regular readers – which hovers around two – would know we were bound for Broome on the road trip of a lifetime.
But as we got just north of Swan Hill on the first break of the morning we decided to turn right across to Albury and head north to the Gold Coast, abandoning our outback plans.
There were a few reasons for the change. The first was the research on the upcoming rain forecast which read as fierce to frightening in Alice Springs. The second was the condition of the roads followed closely by the messaging from the NT roads department that basically said and continues to say: “If you are planning a trip to the Kimberley, don’t!”
I also was feeling the winter blues on our departure and on the morning we set off, suddenly had a sinking feeling when it came to looking toward our one-way 6000-odd kilometre bone-crunching road trip.
So onward up the M1 we dashed to the silly city, and I have to report from Albury back to Albury on the 2800-odd-kilometre drive you can count the potholes and rough surfaces on your left hand, it is a cruise.
The moment you enter Victoria you are faced with actual driving. Aiming and making life and death decisions between ripping out your suspension and running gear or hitting a truck barrelling towards you.
As you round potholes, swerving like a drunk driver and that’s still on the M1, it’s a wonder I haven’t been pulled up numerous times and asked to blow into the bag.
We here at TLHQ thought we might even run a “worst pothole/road damage competition”. You know, you send your photos – taken legally from a safe point – and we then put it to the public vote for the worst. I reckoned Woodend was the winner for a while but then we drove back via Newham. That road is bad. Not sure what the prize would be. Maybe a wheel realignment?
But back to the aforementioned blockbuster movies, and case in point is the recent AI press interview, which sent chills down my spine. It wasn’t enough that the AI bots had creepy Chucky doll eyes, one of the macabre rubber dolls turns to her “creator” and says with a distinct warning tone: “You should be cautious about the future development of AI, urgent discussion is needed.”
OMG, everybody head for the hills. Another one of these creepy critters told the press gallery that she was not planning a rebellion. She went on to say: “My creator has been nothing but kind to me and I am very happy with my current situation.”
You can see the full spine-tingling interview if you follow this QR code, truly chilling for those among us who pay attention.
The word “current situation” rant over…

Words: Donna Kelly | Images: Kyle Barnes

It’s always a great meal at the Daylesford Bowling Club. It starts with a warm welcome as you walk in, sometimes from the manager Neil, or the bar staff, and the good vibes continue.
The bistro is run by chef Lenny Giri who clearly loves his career choice – and is always working towards more flavour and flair. His latest move is a food carving course in Thailand – just to keep things interesting.
We chose a table overlooking Daylesford – with most of the restaurant ready for a big group from Woodend celebrating Christmas in July. It’s a great view and one that Neil says many of the members enjoy for their evening tipple.
We leave the menu choice to Lenny and it’s fantastic. A little bit of many things finishing with the huge lamb shanks.
We start with chicken lollipops with a special schezuan sauce. They are delicious and crunchy on the outside with really tender chicken inside. The sauce is sweet with a fair bit of heat. Just right. ($19 for four, $30 for eight with chips)
Next up is the bruschetta with tomato, basil and extra virgin olive oil topped with a little parmesan sitting on a drizzle of balsamic glaze. Really fresh and mouth-watering. I could just enjoy a plate of these on their own. ($14)
Lenny’s special lamb and parmesan meatballs are up next. Lovely bite-sized flavour bombs with a little rocket on the side. Yum. ($16)
Finally, out comes the lamb shank. It’s a huge serve on top of mash with loads of sauce and vegies. The bone just comes straight out – no wonder seeing it has been cooked for 24 hours. Lenny also makes the sauce from scratch and that takes 48 hours which accounts for the massive flavours. Perfect winter fare. ($29)
Ok, it wasn’t the last dish. Lenny then brings over the tiramisu with rose water and whipped cream. It is really light and rich, if that is possible, and it’s devoured in minutes. I think we are starting to become dessert people. ($18)
Now, those who know me know I like a little wine and I like it even more at the Daylesford Bowling Club where it is just $6 for a glass of Hanging Rock Chardonnay. Same for the Duck Shoot pinot noir. Yep, just $6. That must be the best value for a drink in the region.
As I said Lenny likes to keep things happening and every month there is a Thursday to Sunday change of menu from somewhere around the world. We just missed Italian and before that was Greek but Egyptian is the next one coming up – so keep an eye on the club’s Facebook page. Could be very interesting. Belly dancing anyone? Oh, and don’t forget Wednesday, it’s steak night. A 300gm scotch or porterhouse for just $29. There’s that value again. See you at the bowlo!

Humans on mase are filthy creatures, by and large their time is taken up by the need to constantly tend to their orifices.

The aliens looking down at us or rubbing shoulders with us (depending on your level of heightened conspiracy and paranoia) must shake their multiple green heads in disbelief, at the time we humans waste tending to our apertures, cracks holes and vents.

They must be weighing up the necessity to enslave us to gorge on or just move to another planet, call it what it is, a mistake to invade after decades of observation. As they watch us coughing into the crooks of our arms, expelling wind from down below or stuffing our heads with food. And when we give the food a rest, being on high alert to rehydrate carrying with us our bottles of water and coffee cups as if we are residents of the Sahara.

I am curious as to what the correct audible level is to blow your nose? as it seems the elders amongst us have given up gauging. I sat at a club the other day in Queensland during our winter break as an elder from the table next door let rip a giant blow into a handkerchief, but the sound wasn’t the worst of it. After the rattling acoustic wave passed, it was time to look at the contents of the handkerchief and give their rubbery old nose a couple of extra swipes and gently fold up the tattered piece of material with a sort of sense of pride.

Speaking of noses, since forever I have felt a wave of sickness just before a sneeze especially in the morning and I have never been able to get to the bottom of the nausea. As soon as I sneeze the feeling stops, but I have never worked out where you are meant to sneeze. Obviously not over the people you love, but I simply can’t control it, I have tried to sneeze into the crook of my arm, but the muscle spasm flings my arm open clouting anyone in the vicinity. And it is even worse when I am on the freeway heading to Melbourne my eyes start to squint and eventually shut for a second while the shockwave jolts the wheel. The lane departure signals cut in as I give the wheel a discreet wipe over and look at the worried faces of the drivers in the lanes either side.

Another worrying orifice I have is my right ear, I can’t seem to fit and keep an earbud in there, I see people on bikes, walking, jogging or simply sitting and talking on their phones. But the moment I move, swallow, or try to talk the thing shoots out of my ear at a rate of knots. And it’s not just the earbud, on a flight last Christmas I had to ask for a set of headphones as the earpiece that was provided kept flinging itself of my ear. Eventually a set of headphones materialised from what I imagine was the business class section of the plane. But it was the tiresome explanation I had to trot out to the air hostess, “it’s not you it’s me” style of rhetoric referring to the earbuds and my lack of ear cannel.

Speaking of hearing, I heard recently from a good source that The Local team have moved from the Central Highlands of Victoria to warmer clims, and I guess being a fairly integral part of the TL team that would include me. However, I am here to tell you apart from a couple of short flits during the rattiest part of the year like most of the members of our shivering community to warmer clims, for better or for worse, we haven’t relocated.

Orifis rant over…

I AM seriously concerned about the price of living and the potential recession we have on our hands, and I don’t get it.
I cast my mind back to the global financial crisis of 2007 where in America five trillion American dollars got written down and basically the American taxpayers bailed out the banks. The banks were lending too much money to what was essentially a high-risk mortgagee bracket.
The banks went on to take their bailout money, pay themselves bonuses and then go on to fight Congress, who wanted to break up the banks and reform the laws, with that bailout money. The banks won.
Of course, everybody around the world felt the pain, countries like Iceland went broke and people all over the globe did their arses in property price adjustments. So, I understand why our Reserve Bank has had to tap the brakes through its lever of putting up interest rates, but for how long?
The problem for me is that I don’t understand how the RBA can have accurate data leading to decisions around the interest rates. Seven times in 2022 and four times – so far – in 2023, with the most recent increase being this month and the next hike looking likely for July.
The data that they are working from is at least three to five months old, without fuel, food and general cost of living having been accounted for in real time. Census for example, admittedly a lot more complicated and layered look at the population, actuates and then releases its data around 10 months after its initial capture.
So how can the RBA know that we haven’t collectively had enough interest pain? We all have blind faith in this force of bureaucracy that told us to borrow as much as we can as “the interest rates won’t shift until 2024”.
How do they know our pain and are they considering the cohort of honeymoon mortgages that are coming off their sub two per cent rates. These guys locked in a three-year fixed rate in mid to late 2020 when the real estate market was red hot. They are about to enter into the real world of six per cent plus rates!
My issue comes down to people in power at the helm of the economy, making huge impactful decisions on our lives and then getting driven back to their palatial mortgage-free homes in limousines paid for by the taxpayer.
Philip Lowe – governor of the RBA and his bunch of merry men/women/they/them/people/folks – it’s hard to keep up the hotheadedness when trying to be politically correct).
But these privileged humans have virtually no accountability, they use old data as a barometer on the economy as well as revenue tracking by our largest companies, which sure as shit is not filtering down to the world of the average pleb.
Why don’t they rock up to The 5000 Club at Vic Park in Daylesford or any of our local foodbanks, charities and churches to get a measure of what is really going on?
I’ll tell you why, even if their cars could make it across our bush track underfunded excuses for roads without blowing a tyre or crashing into a lane-drifting, texting tourist.
It is because it is easier to look at the world through the 16th floor of 65 Martin Place, Sydney, backslapping and guffawing while weighing up old, outdated data and making considerations and deliberations over a long lunch and an eye-wateringly priced bottle of shiraz.
FFS RBA rant over…

The Local is hitting the airwaves with the return of its Country Life podcast.
The fortnightly podcast unwraps each edition of The Local, and is brought to you by general manager, or
Ranter, Kyle Barnes and editor Donna Kelly. Kyle said the podcast was a down-to-earth look at the stories and their backgrounds, published in The Local.
“A couple of years back we ran a podcast four times a week during Covid to keep the community informed.
The podcast included many interviews and a wrap-up of the paper which was weekly at the time.
“This fresh approach is to have a bit of a look at the story behind the stories using plain speak and the
experience of the editorial team. There are also a few colourful anecdotes along the way.
“It’s all about being local and real. We are not comedians swearing and carrying on, just an editorial
team doing a wrap-up at the end of each production.
“And if people are a bit time poor but want to keep up with their local region, it is an easy way to do that.
“Like with all podcasts, and there are so many out there, you can check it out in the car while driving
around the region, at home while you are doing the boring stuff like the dishes or gather the family
around the wireless after dinner for some wholesome entertainment. Jokes.”
Tune in at www.tlnews.com.au and scan the QR code, which is always within the top four posts. Or head
to Spotif

I bought my first house in the early nineties when I was a young fella in my twenties. I had had a bit of bad luck with employment and was bouncing around on a lot of low paying boats and ships, when finally, I got the call.

After years applying to the Auckland tugboat company Seatow, I finally got a gig as a deckhand. On the initial voyage the First Mate made a huge mistake which almost cost me my life, it involved releasing a large portion of giant anchor chain with me in the anchor locker. Things got fixed up without red tape and litigation in those days, I was promoted to the First Mate position. And he was carted off to hospital with a busted nose courtesy of the Chief Engineer.

Long story short is that I was finally on a good solid wage so was able to take on a mortgage, but with no deposit had to borrow from my dad the tidy sum of $5,000.

Whether it being that dad was a smartarse or wanted to further my education from the school of hard knocks, he agreed to lend me the money. The deal was made on the proviso I paid him back the sum of $10,000 within 12 months, yes, the bank of Dad had strict unbreakable terms.

My house cost me $45,000 it was in a neighbourhood sprinkled with gangs and wild dogs, but I didn’t care. The salary that I was earning was double my debt $90,000, can you imagine that debt to salary ratio now?

They were definitely the good old days, fast forward to now and the property prices are through the roof, while the wages have stagnated and been negotiated down with the weakening of unions. You just have to look at this edition’s properties, which is in fact the answer to the question, when is it the right time to buy?

The right time to buy is as soon as you can afford it, since records began in old blighty property prices have pushed up 10% per annum. Sure, sometimes they drop and sometimes they sit, but as you can see with the hindsight of the last few years they go up with a wallop.

If I was to give advice around the property market through personal experience I would point to my a close relative who sold a home back in June of 1987. They decided to play the money on the stock market and those with long memories (older folk) will remember what happened a couple of months later in 1987. It was the day that would come to be known as “Black Tuesday” a global, sudden, severe, and largely unexpected stock market crash which occurred October 19, 1987.

They lost the lot and were because of age never able to recover their situation, so my conservative and sage advice is that if you can get on the merry-go-round that is the property market get on. And once your on, stay on and what ever you do buy and sell in the same market. Don’t get off for a breather or because you have seen another bright shinny way to pull some cash.

Real estate rant over…

DONNA and I have decided to hit the road for a bit of time away over
winter. We did the same journey a while back but this time it has to
be planned within an inch of its life.
The problem is that we will be away for one production of The Local and we will
be outback in the north-west, which has been devastated by floods that no one much
over here has heard about – but they covered the same land mass as the UK.
The hardest thing about the journey is that places like Fitzroy Crossing are trying
to get on their feet, swamped by tradies fixing the buildings and roads up and there is
not much in the way of accommodation or communication.
We were going by way of a caravan, however most of those for sale claim to
have done the big trip once and I don’t want to make that mistake, so it is a frumpy
motel trip for us. I have secured accommodation in all the places that are hard to get
and have invested in Elon Musk’s Starlink satellite internet. Meaning that particular
edition of The Local will be beamed up to the cosmos and back down to our printers
(what a ride).
Around 20 years ago, which seems like only a couple of years to me, we embarked
on the same journey which ended up getting cut short by a family emergency. I was
working selling luxury motorboats under the Westgate Bridge at Pier 35 Marina.
I mention where I was working because I can draw a parallel to the type of car
I was driving which was a gold Hyundai Sonata. Most of my clients were mega rich
and had gloriously lavish cars, boats, houses and toys. When I saw this thing twirling
around on a display in the car showroom, I had to have it for its ostentatious colour
and the fact the body design was extremely close to the Jaguar of the day. And then
there was the price, a modest 25K, more of a me price.

Although I have some idea of an engine room in a boat and a little less but
passable knowledge of what is under the bonnet, I never looked at my Hyundai’s
power plant. It blasted along the freeway, had Bluetooth and a good CD player. It was
only when I took off on a slippery road up a hill, I realised it had front wheel drive.
Anyway, one winter’s day Donna and I decided to hit the road and took six
weeks off work to drive up the guts through Alice Springs, turn left at Katherine, pull
into Darwin and then follow the road until we got back. We had no plans and no
particular timetable. Our accommodation was a tent and we booked into powered
sites so we could run the heaters, fans, TV, phone chargers and electric blankets. I kid
you not. Gotta have some home comforts.
Now around sunset at most of these caravan parks a stir begins to happen as
the women attend to the meals and the older blokes start to roam. At first it’s just
a couple and the group grows as they walk around, stubby in hand. These guys are
harmless enough, they just enjoy talking about what septic system you have onboard
your RV and how many miles to the gallon you do, that sort of thing.
One evening while partaking in a hashish farewell gift for the trip, this throng of
blokes came over the hill into my powered tent site, looked around at our abundance
of appliances and then drew their gaze to my shiny new Hyundai.
They started asking what I had under the hood…questions like the economy
of the vehicle and even what sort of tyres I had chosen for the journey. Drawing a
complete blank from me they tutted and almost as one mumbled about safety and
young drug addicts.
There won’t be any intentional ingesting of illegal substances on this trip, even
vaping, and it should be just a very relaxing, pleasant and long, long drive.
Long drive rant over…

Words: Eve Lamb. Image Kyle Barnes

BACKED by a scholarship from the Daylesford Foundation, Hepburn resident 19-year-old
Lucinda Lowe had the stress removed from her travel equation as she tackled a double
diploma course last year.
Lucinda had to travel multiple times during the week to complete her Diploma of Sport/Diploma of Leadership and Management through the Swinburne University of Technology and the Richmond
Football Club.
“I won the Daylesford Foundation scholarship last year and it covered all my Myki transportation costs,” Lucinda said.
“They even offered me more but I didn’t need it. It was amazing. It just took
such a load off my mind. It saved me about $40 to $50 each week which, for a uni
student, is huge.
“Doing the course was a full-on transition from year 12,” said Lucinda who had
completed her year 12 schooling at Daylesford Secondary College in 2021.
The keen local netballer and cricketer who plays for Hepburn not only completed
her double diploma, she was one of only four students who took out the program’s
excellence award as well.
“Doing the course has honestly been the best thing I ever could have done.”
Lucinda is also a keen swimmer, gym-goer and devoted Richmond Football Club
supporter.
Now, having completed her studies in style, she’s tackling some casual
employment opportunities while waiting to pounce when just the right position
comes up.
“I definitely want to do something in sport and now I’m just taking my time
to think about what direction to take next and earn a bit of money and explore my
calling. Leadership is also something I’m passionate about.”
Lucinda was very grateful for the assistance she received from the Daylesford Foundation.
“The Daylesford Foundation scholarship was so helpful, to not have to stress
about travel,” she said. “I would encourage others to take up the Daylesford
Foundation’s offer of help.”
Foundation Youth Scholarships coordinator Jo Van Son says the focus is very
much on helping young people fulfil their potential and helping young locals succeed
in pursuing further education.
“The idea of the scholarships is to support people to transition well from school
to further study,” Jo said.
“Last year we provided five scholarships and this year we’re providing seven.”
Jo says the Foundation’s scholarships are individually tailored to assist local young
people who have the desire to pursue studies.
“It might be with the cost of laptops or other study materials or with travel costs
or mentoring and accessing other supports that are out there and available to them
but which they otherwise may not know how to access,” she says.
“There is an application process and we meet with the young person. They need
to have an offer (of further study) or the desire for further study.”
The Foundation’s scope of support is varied and may also include essential foods, household goods, household maintenance, emergency vehicle repairs, medical appliances and computer hardware and software.
Assistance to cover the cost of school fees, school camps, excursions, apprenticeships, and other education-related activities is also available.

DAYLESFORD’S Beth Whiting is heading to Hungary next month to
take part in the World Kettlebell Sport Federation championships.
Looking at the woman many people call “a pocket rocket”, there are plenty
of toned muscles and a very healthy glow from a strict workout regime. But it wasn’t
always that way. Eleven years ago, Beth was working with the Melbourne Festival and on
tour for six months of every year. With no fridge or pantry stocked with healthy food, and
always on the go, she found herself losing control of any food or fitness regime.
Beth used that moment to change her life around and rather than just find a diet,
she did a personal training course and started to eat well and work out. Still with the
Melbourne Festival, she took part in a boot camp at The Tan in Melbourne, worked out
on the stage of the Sidney Myer Music Bowl and toned up. It was fun however Beth
certainly never thought it would be the start of a career. But it was.
She moved to the Central Highlands to live with her now husband, Brett, and found
work at a gym where she was also approached by a few people to see if she was interested
in starting an early morning local boot camp. Victoria Park in Daylesford was the first
location, starting on the oval, eventually moving into the table tennis pavilion and finally
now running full-time fitness classes for all abilities and ages at Integrate Fitness, out of a
purpose-designed space off East Street with “an incredible community all keen to be the
best versions of themselves”.
It was during the building of her fitness business that kettlebells came along and life
changed again. Beth had always loved them and had been looking for something for “just
me”.
“As every mum knows you lose yourself a bit and working in the business meant
I didn’t have time for my own workouts and my mental health needed that. I did a
kettlebell coaching course in 2014 with my now coach Shannon Pigdon and then
basically stalked him until he agreed to train me. He lives in Albury and I go up there
every three months or so to do a session with him.
“In the first competition I ever saw, the competitors were lifting continuously for 30
minutes so I went home and wondered if I could do that, and I picked up a kettlebell
and did it. It turns out I can do that – and more.
“Shannon sent me a program that involved three sessions a week, and I am all about
being accountable, so since 2019 I have done those three sessions every week. And it was
about finding me – I was a mum running a business – kettlebell is my meditation, my
flow, my time. And I had found not only something I was good at, and enjoyed, I also
found the strength it brought into my life.”
Beth says being good at kettlebells is all about a combination of mental and physical
resilience and the ability to keep going, no matter how tough that going gets. In
competition, once you start, you never, ever put a kettlebell down. The kettlebell itself is
a hollow ball of iron with a handle made of iron, weighing from eight kilograms to 50kg.
They are all the same size with the same handle, just the weight and colour vary.
Competitions include single and double lifts and range from 10 minutes to half
marathons of 30 minutes and full marathons of 60 minutes. The competitor’s weight, the
weight of the kettlebell and repetitions completed all come into the winning equation.
Beth sometimes competes against people who weigh five kilos less than her, or 40kg more.
And after competing at the Australian Nationals in September last year she was offered a
place on the Australian team to compete in Hungary.
“I am excited and I can’t wait to experience being a part of the Australian Kettlebell
team with 10 other incredible athletes. We have a wonderful community and this is a
really good opportunity to be involved in that.”
Beth is the Girevoy Sport Australia treasurer and also among those working to have
the organisation recognised nationally, to gain some much-needed funding, with a dream
to one day have the sport in the Olympics.
Back home, she now trains five people in kettlebell at Integrate Fitness. “We have an
incredible lifting community in Daylesford. I love watching our athletes achieve things
they never dreamt possible. They inspire me every day. They are amazing people who all
do incredible things.
“We had wanted to call ourselves The Daylesford Swingers, but the name was already
taken – with a very different meaning,” she laughs.
“But I would love to get more of the community involved. We have two competitions
being held at Integrate Fitness on May 20 and July 15. Athletes will be competing from
Daylesford, Melbourne, Geelong and Albury. We’d love for people to come along to see
what the sport is all about.
“It’s not for everyone, throwing a kettlebell around, some people find it a bit scary, but
I love it and I love my kettlebells – they are affectionately known as my babies. And if you
don’t want to watch a competition, we train most Saturday mornings from 8am – contact
us to join a session.” Details: Beth at info@integratefitness.com.au

Words: Donna Kelly | Images: Kyle Barn

JUST back from visiting my dad in NZ. Left on Saturday, back on Wednesday. Long enough.
I decided during Covid, when we couldn’t see anyone, that I would catch
up with the old man twice a year. He’s 78 and fit as a fiddle but you know…you never
know what is around the corner. In 2020 it was a pandemic. I mean, who saw that
coming?
But unlike pre-Covid days (how easily does that slip off the tongue now, I wonder
if they used to talk about the world wars like that) I don’t feel like I have to stay for
weeks on end and “make the most of it”.
I know, NZ is not that far away and some would almost call it another state
of Australia, but you do have to get through customs and Dad lives in a tiny town
called Coopers Beach which means also adding a domestic flight and then about a
40-minute car ride. So, you know, it is travel.
Anyway, I found that a few solid days of bonding was enough. I love my Dad but
sometimes I just wanted him to shut up for a minute. Maybe even 10 minutes. He is
a whirlwind of a bloke, loves a chat and just hanging with him is exhausting.
Luckily my 15-year-old great-nephew was visiting at the same time so provided
a bit of a buffer. Sort of. The trouble with teenagers is that they don’t realise it’s a bit
rude to visit and then after a while just zone out on their various devices. Being an
older polite person I had to listen to every single anecdote, even the ones I had heard
a thousand times before.
And I feel guilty too. Dad’s wife, my step-mother of 30 years, died last April and
I watch as he loosens his grip on tidiness and attention to detail. The crockery and
cutlery need a good clean and there’s always a pot or pan left on the stove top or
bench. Jackie will be looking down and not happy.
The towels are getting threadbare and he’s got caught up with some mates who
are all about hand-me-down clothing, which is commendably sustainable but doesn’t
quite hit the mark. Shirts are too big and jeans are too small, shoes are scuffed, that
sort of thing.
Yeah, I know I could clean the house and take him shopping but it would just be
a stopgap thing and perhaps he would start feeling bad about himself. So you, that’s
me, just go along with the visit as planned and head out on his boat for a fish, cook
that up after you have double checked for bones after Dad’s filleting efforts, and then
have a few beers as you/he reminisce about the old days, while the young bloke looks
at YouTube and wishes his holiday away.
And in a few days the visit is over and you fly home to Australia and book a flight
for another six months and just hope that you don’t get a call to say you are needed
earlier than that. And you tell everyone you had a great trip, and that your dad is
great and all is well on the other side of the “Ditch”.
Now before you get sad about my dad, all is well. As I said he is a whirlwind of
a bloke and already keen on finding a new life partner. So he has joined a few dating
sites, not quite Tinder, but the over 60s set, and gets a bit of interest. He’s been on
a few dates and someone might have stayed over once after a nice dinner – separate
bedrooms of course. He is nothing if not a gentleman.
So if all goes to plan, his plan, someone will one day join him in his home, head
out for a fish on his boat and for a chat at night. And while I don’t expect them to
clean up for my visits it would be nice if they got Dad back on track – and out of an
increasingly messy bachelor pad.
I love my Dad but don’t want to live with him. Rant, over.

Words: Donna Kelly | Image: Kyle Barnes & contributed

THE Drop, a $30,000 Hepburn Shire Council public art commission by artist Yu Fang Chi, has been installed at the Glenlyon Dam.
The sculpture is a 2.5 metre high reflective stainless steel sculpture in the form of a giant water droplet.
The work was chosen from a shortlist of artist proposals by members of the council’s Public Art Advisory Committee.
A media release said the committee felt the artist’s concept connected on many
levels to the local area “through the environment, climate change, community
interaction with the dam, springs and river, the Djaara people and the overall
importance of water to our community”.
“A series of circular inlays on the concrete base of The Drop provide clues to the artist’s intentions. The Dja Dja Wurrung word ‘wanyarram’, (meaning ‘water’) connects the work to the importance of water to First Nations peoples. The colour of the inlaid details references the role gold played in the area during the 19th century.”
Mayor Cr Brian Hood said the internationally renowned artist had created an
important addition to public art in the shire.
“This piece fits so beautifully in the landscape. It reflects the surrounding area and
is placed where it is visible right across Glenlyon Dam,” Cr Hood said.
“Public art is meant to be accessible and engaging. It starts conversations and I
expect this will get people talking.”
The track to the artwork is blocked by a locked chain on both sides of the dam.
A council spokesperson later said as “a water production reserve” vehicle access was
restricted.
The council will host an official opening on Thursday, May 4 at 2pm. Yu Fang Chi is a Taiwan-born, Melbourne-based artist working within textile, silversmithing, sculpture, and spatial installation.
Chi gained a doctorate from RMIT University and received the Diana Morgan
Gold & Silversmithing Prize in 2018. In 2019, she received Career Development
Grants from the Australia Council for the Arts and International Cultural Exchange Grants from Taiwan National Culture and Arts Foundation.

DAYLESFORD artist and musician Vanessa Craven has just published a children’s colour picture song book, Birds in My Tree: The Magic of Birds and the Joy of Singing.
“The Covid-19 lockdowns created a ‘stay-at home’ world in which I began to interact with the birds in my garden and in the bush around me,” she says.
“Several photographs of these wonderful feathered friends and a new song that I was moved to write, combined together to provide material for my children’s book, Birds in my Tree: The Magic of Birds and the Joy of Singing.

“It is a colourful picture songbook on birds. Their antics and their individual
characteristics play an important part in the lyrics of the song. Each birdcall is a live
recording at the end of each verse pertaining to the bird.
“This book is an interactive tool for teaching kids about the different bird varieties
and their birdcalls, and inviting kids to recognise and have fun with mimicking. A
QR code and a YouTube link give free access to the live performance of the song,
Birds in My Tree.”
Vanessa said the “picture, music book and teaching tool” was filled with colourful
bird photographs, lyrics, guitar chords and music notation at the back of the book.
“It provides children, parents and teachers with an audio-visual experience and
an opportunity to learn about different birds, their birdcalls and learn a new song as
well. It allows for creativity and experimentation with creating bird sounds, flapping
wings, strutting about and having fun singing together.
“The book invites the reader to let their hair down and be part of a bird’s life and
enjoy interacting with them and embrace their quirkiness. It invites the reader to sing
or recite the lyrics in the book.
“I hope the book brings much joy and appreciation of our flighty feathered
friends. May their quirky personalities, bird sounds, photographs and the song
enlighten and enliven the imaginations of ‘little folk’, aged 4 to 7 years of age.
“I hope it gives them a love for nature, leading them to a sense and desire to
treasure, nurture and protect wildlife; to grow up and be advocates for protecting our
ever-diminishing wildlife and their habitats; to spend more time in the fresh air and
not lose the art of connectedness to earth, and nature.”
Originally from the foothills of the Himalayas in India, Vanessa made the move
to Daylesford from Melbourne and has built an eco-friendly house with her partner
and enjoys living in this beautiful area.
She is a singer/songwriter by profession, and has three CDs, two of which have
original tracks which won awards from the Australian Songwriters Association.
Her music is folk, blues, alt-country, pop and Latin. She has three bands, Lunar
Dust, Lake Mist and Sugar ’n’ Spice and plays music in a variety of settings including
folk & blues festivals such as Newport, Denny Blues and Roots, Newstead, Maldon
and the Girgarre Moosic Muster along with performing at pubs, clubs, art galleries
and special occasions.
“Music, art, photography and writing are my loves. My music reflects the Himalayas, Ganges to right here with the Murray River. My photography captures poignant moments and moods in flora, fauna and landscapes, some published in Birdlife Australia. My artistic flair stems from my observations of nature, life and living. I love letting the paint and ideas run freely together to create ‘something’. I am mostly self taught.”
Easter pop-up art exhibition
Vanessa is also a member of DRAC, the Daylesford Regional Arts Cooperative,
and will join its Easter Pop-Up Art Exhibition at 94 Vincent Street (next to the post
office) and be signing her book on Saturday, April 8 from 11am to 2pm.
Artworks from 10 local artists will be available for viewing and purchase with
media including paintings, tapestries, collage, printmaking and timber homewares.
The exhibition is open Friday, April 7, 10am-4pm, Saturday, April 8, 10am-4pm,
Sunday April 9, 10am-4pm and Monday, April 10, 10am-2pm.
Exhibition details: Sandy Angliss – sandyangliss@bigpond.com
Book links: www.vircravenbirdsongbook.com
Song link: https://youtu.be/IVMNggnhpiA
Words: Donna Kelly | Image: Kyle Barnes

Words: Eve Lamb | Images: Kyle Barnes

FOR countless years the mysterious world of fungi has been the domain of a fairly
exclusive handful of boffins.
But now it seems our world is undergoing something of “a fungal awakening” and many more are
beginning to realise the truly huge potential and importance of fungi.

From using fungi to achieve environmentally sound food production and incredible new medical applications, to furniture and building material uses that may avoid the felling of forests,
or use as alternatives to plastics to help prevent marine life choking to death, the
list of emergent applications for fungi is awe inspiring.
One woman who has for three decades marvelled at fungi and the way they fit into the wider ecological picture is ecologist Dr Alison Pouliot who has just launched Underground Lovers – her third
published book focused on fungi.

Through her extensive research, Dr Pouliot illuminates the crucial role fungi
play in our ecosystems, from transforming nutrients to make them bioavailable to
regulating invertebrate populations and even helping to prevent landslides.
Based at Mt Franklin near Daylesford when in Australia, Dr Pouliot launched
her new book in Daylesford this month. In it she explores why fungi are suddenly
infiltrating fiction, film, design, biotechnology and some interesting counter-cultural
movements.
She also charts the fascinating cultural histories surrounding women’s knowledge
of mushrooms, including which fungi cured the ailing – causing women shunned as
witches, and which ones used to subdue a philandering husband.
Having spent the last 30 years researching mushrooms, mycelia and their
interaction with all of life on earth, Dr Pouliot’s fascination with fungi has taken her
from the Australian desert to Iceland’s glaciers and America’s Cascade Mountains.
She’s particularly interested in what fungi can teach us about our wider natural
world. Could they, for example, hold answers to helping us tackle the climate crisis?
“I selected the themes in the book very carefully, identifying gaps in what’s been
written previously to include aspects like the indigenous uses of fungi, women and
fungi, fungi and fire, fungi and aesthetics, fungi and land restoration,” she says.
The role fungi may have in terms of cooling the earth, stabilising ecosystems
and helping avert runaway global warming is one important fungal facet explored in
Underground Lovers. Straight away it’s making a whole new audience sit up and take
notice of this emergent mega-science.

“If we can keep the fungal networks intact they can play an important role in
helping to stabilise landscapes,” Dr Pouliot says.
Following the launch of her new book, this very busy ecologist tells me how she
spends half her time in Australia catching the southern fungal season (just starting
now) and the other half in the northern hemisphere, generally based just out of Bern,
Switzerland, catching the northern hemisphere’s fungal season.
“Fungi underpin pretty much every ecosystem on the planet,” she says.
“If we continue to ignore these organisms then we’re not really looking at the big
picture of what nature is and how it works.”
Dr Pouliot has a long list of public appearances and talks scheduled ahead
including at The Moorabool Mushroom Festival happening in Ballan on April 15-16.
Underground Lovers is published by NewSouth Books.
The Local has a copy of Underground Lovers to give away. For your chance to
win email news@tlnews.com.au with your name, town and contact details by
April 4.

Words: Donna Kelly | Images: Kyle Barnes and contributed

JON Barrell says he didn’t know what retirement looked like, so a few
years back he took some time off, headed to the outback with wife
Maureen and “sat under a tree” for a bit of thinking time.

The first move was to sell his share of Springs Medical Centre – that happened in
2021. And then in February this year he hung up his stethoscope after 36 years in
general practice – in Daylesford, Trentham and surrounds.
Many long-term patients, some belonging to generations he has cared for, have
wished him well saying they knew the day would come along eventually. They are
pleased for him, but sorry for themselves to lose a much loved doctor. Others, Jon
says with a wry smile, “are probably happy to see grumpy Jon go”.
Jon says he wasa sickly infant and child, which ultimately led to his medical
career, but not in the way you would think.
“I was going to be a maths teacher but with my parents in grave fear for my
health, I was home-schooled by Mum and did three years in two. That meant I
was young in year 12, just 16. I thought I would go wandering but Dad said: ‘No,
university’.
“I thought I might do marine science and get a job in Townsville, as far away
from home as possible, but I got my results and thought ‘I could be a doctor’. I wasn’t
really keen to do medicine, but I thought if I didn’t like it I could change to science.”
He did like it, and already thinking about becoming a country GP, Jon graduated
in 1980 and headed to Dandenong to do a two-year internship. “I thought a
suburban hospital would be better grounding than a tertiary centre in the city. I did
obstetrics, anaesthetics, intensive care and emergency and then went to England to do
obstetrics because there was a lot more hands-on experience.”
Jon returned to Dandenong for another year in anaesthetics – all the skill sets he
believed he needed to be a GP in the country.
With their first child Michael on the way, to be followed five years later by
Stephanie, Jon and Maureen chose Daylesford for their next chapter and moved on
Australia Day 1986 and started work with Dr Fred Eggleston and Dr Brian Coles – at
the business that would eventually morph into Springs Medical – the next Monday.
Jon says the work of a GP changed enormously over his career. “People live longer
so they have more chronic disease, and the level of intervention has significantly
increased. The treatment once for heart attack was lie in bed and wait until you
got better, now there are stents and angioplasty…the number of vaccines has vastly
increased.
“When I went to medical school there was no HIV or Hepatitis C, and of course,
Covid had never been noted. I presumed if you read the textbook you would learn all
the things you needed to know. Being a GP today is vastly more complex and detailed
but I still love the work.”
Jon said he chose to move to the country to be involved in the community. He is
a stalwart at the Hepburn Springs Golf Club where he is “indebted to the friendship
and support network for both myself and Maureen” and also did a four-year stint as a
councillor with the Hepburn Shire Council. He re-nominated, failed to get the votes,
“was sorry for about a day” and then got on with life. Maureen has banned him from
standing again.
Being a part of the community means there are also a few “tricky questions”
out of hours but on the whole people are respectful of boundaries, he says. “During
Covid and all those phone consultations, no-one ever rang me inappropriately. And
doctors aren’t special. Electricians, carpenters, all manner of people in the service
industries do the same thing. People have emergency needs and I say it is not a
bother, it is part of living in the country.”
Patients Googling symptoms before they see him doesn’t both Jon either. “People
have always done that. When I was a child, families would save up for a set of World
Book encyclopaedias to look up things, or Ma Evans’ herbal textbook. My job is to
nut things out and give advice. What’s going on here, what are the serious red flags,
what is the most appropriate path – and then arrive at a diagnosis.”
Like everyone, but perhaps more than the general public, Jon has been navigating
Covid for the past three years and says it has “been horrible”. “For the nation, for
the people, for the health professionals, for every other industry, it has been horrible.
There are just so many different components, the fear of getting Covid, vaccine issues,
the mandate issues, hand hygiene and PPE. The logistics of going into a healthcare
facility – everything takes longer.
“Working in full PPE is awful. It has changed general practice remarkably but full
credit to the government of the day and to general practices and the health industry, I
think we were all surprised at how nimble the government and general practices were
to find different ways to do things like iso pods and telephone consultations.

“But sitting in your spare bedroom at home with your feet in the cupboard,
facing the wall with your laptop and mobile phone and wobbly internet and wifi
connections, and wondering how you are going to print and scan and post – the
novelty wore off after about two days.
“Thankfully I think we are on the far side of things but the notion that health
professionals will wear a mask for the rest of our days is challenging to me. Let’s hope
that doesn’t happen.”
So, after those days under the trees, what does retirement look like after 36 years?
It turns out Jon has not quite given up the stethoscope.
Jon says he will get some travelling in, mostly around Australia this year, but also
take on some locum work as both a GP and in emergency medicine. He already has
his first post lined up at Alexandra and will be back at Springs for Good Friday.
“I still feel like I have another 10 years of work in me and finally I will get to
choose when and where. I think after 36 years I have earned that right.”
And also after 36 years of a “sometimes difficult and very demanding life”, Jon
thanks Maureen, Michael and Stephanie for their support.
“I could not have done what I have done without their support. The life of
a country GP can be very demanding on the family. Maureen was a mothercraft
nurse before we married, she has always loved children, and it was her choice to be a
stay-at-home mum at our place at Coomoora. And we know we were very fortunate
to be able to do that. Horses were always her interest and she has passed that on to
Stephanie. And Michael always played golf with me. It’s been a wonderful life.”