June 1st, 2020Vale Betty 1932 – 2020

Betty Elaine Kelly, my mum, passed away on Friday, May 22. The funeral service was last Thursday. Mum was The Local‘s biggest fan and a frequent flyer to the Daylesford region. Here is what I said last Thursday.

OK, Mum is a true Frankston girl, born and bred.

She was born in Frankston Hospital on June 21, 1932 to Phyllis and James Oldfield. That year she won a Best Baby Award – and still has a silver cup to prove it. Although it became a little worse for wear during a house fire when her dad had to throw both her and her brother out of the window to save them.

After a few years of being an only child, along came Graeme. I think they fought a bit as kids but she said in her teenage years he was quite protective of her and in later life they were best friends and talked every day. Graeme died a few years ago and that really hit Mum. She loved her little brother.

Mum was very much a beloved child and her dad called her Sam or Sammie. Lots of Samuels in the family, I think. He used to take her out fishing off Oliver’s Hill, tying her to the boat so she didn’t end up overboard. And that is where her ashes will be scattered, next year, on her birthday, on June 21, 2021. A much better year.

The family moved a lot, only around Frankston, as her dad James, among other things like starting up Bayside Holden and being postmaster at Frankston Post Office, was a builder. He would build a home, Nan would decorate and they would sell and move on to the next project. I think it might be why Mum stayed at her very own “Home on The Range” from when she married in 1956 right up until she moved to Baxter Retirement Village eight years ago.

Mum went to Davey Street Primary School and then Frankston High but was smart and was given a scholarship to Corowa Girls School. She loved school and had lots of friends and talked about catching trams in Melbourne. She also attended a radio school and was a proficient piano player. But she also loved being in Frankston and with her family so when she finished school, despite offers of employment in Melbourne, she just wanted to be close to home.

But she did have stints as a teacher, back at Davey Street, a nurse and even went travelling with a dentist as his assistant. She even kindly made a free set of false teeth for Nan, but they were so crooked nan threw them on the floor and they shattered.

Mum finally found her wings, and worked for Ansett for a while. And then she met my dad, John William Kelly, who was with the PMG or Post Master General, I guess what we call Telstra now.

She had a few beaux, or blokes interested, at the time, but Dad won her heart and they married on September 28, 1956 and bought two blocks of land in The Range. They sold one to the Browns, so they could build on the other and started with just a couple of rooms and added on as they could afford them. No McMansions happening there.

Mum always wanted four kids and it took a while but four children did come along. Peter, Jandra, myself and Richard, so mum had her hands full juggling four kids all aged two years apart. They were typical parents, loads of photos of the first two, a couple of me and then practically none of Richard, unless we were all in a group shot. We had a good family life. Not rich, not poor, just very middle class. Dad studied for an engineering degree at night so I think that helped. Although I do remember quite a few mince dishes. And apricot chicken and ki see ming – a cabbage-based dish  – and disgusting.

Mum, who played tennis every Wednesday morning, also started her craft and art life, studying pottery – which she kept up with her own kiln and wheel until she was 80, along with painting, and even having a group of women over now and again to create silk scarves.

Mum’s father died just after she married but as the kids grew up Mum started travelling. A couple of times with Dad including to a recently opened China where the tour guide failed to show at the airport and I think he went into meltdown – remember, he was an engineer.

So she chose Nan as her travelling companion and between them they saw the world. The kids got to stay home with Dad as cook and his go-to meal of ham steaks and pineapple. Think every day. I think Jan and Rick to this day can’t eat that.

Sadly Dad died when Mum was just 55. She was grief-stricken but instead of closing down, she upped her travelling ante and headed to France for six months with Graeme and my aunt Jennie. She loved it. Popped across to London now and again and had lots of adventures we will never know about with Graeme while Jennie worked.

She came home, out of her grief fog, and encouraged me to apply for an English teaching job in Japan. I got the job and spent the next three years in Japan, with Mum turning up every few months for “eight weeks” or “six weeks” while my friends’ parents just came for a week.

Where I lived they had a group of Goodwill Guides, volunteers who took foreigners out to see Japan. They practically adopted Mum and while I worked she saw the real Japan. I remember one night going home and getting a call to say “your mother come home time now 7pm”, then “your mother come home time now 9pm”. After I received the final call “your mother come home time now midnight” I gave up, left they key in the door and went to bed. I think they were at an historic sake factory.

Meanwhile, Rick had met Dawn and moved to Queensland where mum travelled at least once a year and did fun things like fishing, driving boats, trying lots of restaurants and generally just was spoilt. Rick and Dawn travelled down from Queensland to be here today.

Jan stayed close by and had two children, Brett and Ryan, giving Mum grandchildren who she loved. Jan and Brett actually lived with Mum for the first five or so years or his life, so there was a real bond there. And then Ryan came along with his fun and dry humour. Certainly they got myself and Rick off the hook.

Finally Kyle got off his backside, left New Zealand, and came and found me. We met when we were living on Hamilton Island, me a Japanese tour guide, Kyle, a skipper. When Mum first met Kyle she said “he’s handsome, but it won’t last”. I can say they had a rocky start but ended up best of friends with Mum telling Kyle, usually after a couple of chardies, “I love you”.

Mind you, she often read his opinion pieces featuring her in The Local, a publication we run, and would call and say “I am going to kill him”. But she loved being known, in a funny way, by our Daylesford people and loved coming up when we moved there, and heading to restaurants and pubs to be greeted with lots of hugs. I know, the old days. Claire and Susanne from The Boathouse Restaurant are watching this today – and Claire gives the best hugs!

Kyle and I were also lucky to travel with Mum. We went to Japan when she was 80, after an illness many people thought was the end. Over the past two years we have cruised together as well. Mum had a bucket list which included Iceland and Norway. So we did that, and then she had another bucket list, Eastern Europe and Russia. So we did that too. And then, this year, if not for stupid COVID we would have been cruising around Japan, China and Hong Kong. We cancelled that one in January.

Mum was also very involved in the local Probus club, as a founding member, doing dinners out, the wine appreciation circle and travelling to heaps of places like Turkey and just around Australia. I often thought it was the best thing she had done after Dad died, just got her out and about with some like-minded fun people.

Mum said to me last week that this stint in hospital was just a little blip in her life. We all thought she would be home by now. Not to be and I am so sad. But really she was a little lady, just 5’4”, who lived a really big life. And that is what we must remember. Never the last bit. A big wonderful life with family and friends, and travel and lots of interests. Love you, Mum.

Words: Donna Kelly