August 17th, 2020Kyle’s Rant

Firstly we find ourselves living in “unprecedented” times, we are all “pivoting” our businesses and lives and “reaching out” to our community who are all “bingeing” on “TikTok” while “self-isolating” in “lockdown”.
Secondly, folks are getting eye strain from the computer and TV while the “covidiots” roam the streets without masks giving the bird to the cops and wondering why they are wrestled to the ground.
And finally, the “frontline workers” have become the heroes and we are all trying to figure out if the “mute” button has been turned on or off as we make a quick exit to the loo after an intensive one-hour “Zoom” meeting.
Some days I feel like heading back under the doona just thinking about it but yesterday instead of giving up I went for a walk after two days of not seeing anyone, apart from the better half, and I made a huge mistake. I left the sanctuary of TL HQ without a mask. Now, I am all for wearing a mask but not being a social butterfly, and with the weather inclement, I hadn’t ventured out for a while and simply forgot.
What pricked my memory was about a kilometre into my walk I saw a guy driving a car by himself with a mask on, which I think is a bit OTT, but this threw me into a spin as I hunted through my pockets only to come up with an old tissue. So I quickly secreted myself into the bush beside the road to find a solution.
The first that came to mind was to put my hoodie on backwards but how was I going to see? Could a tissue be enough of a face covering to get through the next few kilometres? But how should I tie it on?
I was in a pickle, even though there wasn’t a soul about I wasn’t only breaking the law, I was putting mankind and myself at risk. Surely I could fashion something from the bush, maybe some leaves, but it is Winter and there is not a lot around. I spied a bird’s nest…but what to do with the early-born chick inside? Perhaps not.
I finally decided that if anyone saw me, I would pull my tee-shirt up over my face and walk quickly, while rubbing my head with my sleeve, that would surely throw them off the scent.
I wouldn’t have thought back a year ago that a face mask would be such a dilemma, but it does just go to show our new reality presents a lot of extra external pressures which weigh heavily on a lot of people, so we do need to exercise patience towards others.
Weirdly gooey rant over…