July 26th, 2026Just sayin’…

I was going to write about Hepburn Shire Council – but it appears there is not much council to write about just yet. Sure as eggs, something will happen on Monday, just after we go to press. I am guessing an administrator or two but what would I know? Watch this space.

In the meantime, a tale that will curl your toes…nah, not really, but it’s a tale of caution, redemption and vitriol. Not in that order. Redemption came last.
So, Kyle ordered me a bottle of perfume for my birthday on May 29. Anyway, the perfume, Samsara, never came. I won’t name the company except to say it is The Perfume Shop, apparently based in Australia. Damn my honesty.
So Kyle wrote back, asking when the perfume would arrive and they wrote back saying the Iran war was an issue and the perfume delivery was stuck in the Strait of Hormuz. Damn that pesky war.
So Kyle waited a bit longer, can’t help a war, and then wrote back asking if the ship had made it through. Yes, they said, but not with Samsara. Another perfume was an option if he would like to make a choice.
Being a good Australian bloke with no idea (formerly NZ) this was difficult – and he was still trying to keep it a secret from me. So he asked if Samsara might eventually make it through. They said “yes” and would give him a 1ml vial of something else as well to make up for it. Now Kyle is nothing if not accommodating and unwilling to make more trouble for anyone. Read his rants. Jokes. So he said “no”, just the Samsara would be fine when it made it through, alongside fuel for the world. Like Industry Super Funds: “We are all in this together.”
And then he waited, and waited, and then he realised the perfume was not coming and that was that. $169 down the drain – and he told me about it and he was sorry. I am not sure if he was sorry because I didn’t get my present or perhaps I really needed that perfume – although I do pride myself on showering most days…
So, as I do, I got a tad annoyed. And asked if I could help. And he said “yes” and unleashed “the pitbull” as he calls me now and again.
Now, I really wish pitbull behaviour was not needed. It is actually my pet peeve that the average person probably does not know how, or cannot, fight for their rights. It should be so easy. Anyway, I thought, let’s play. So this was my first email:
“To Whom It May Concern, My husband ordered me this perfume in April and it has not arrived. He has asked many times for a refund. Despite being an overseas company you cannot contravene the Australian Consumer legislation. I demand that you refund this money immediately or send the order. If you do not, I will use every contact I have in the media industry and social media to close you down – I am now 61 and started in the industry when I was 20. So I have many, many contacts. Your business is disgraceful and I will not stop if you do not either send the perfume or return his money. Do not send any more rubbish about a different order or a discount. The first place I will head is Trust Pilot and then every Google review I can find. I work from home so can spend many hours undoing your business. This is beyond a joke.”
Next email from me: “First bad review is up on Trust Pilot…One star only because I cannot leave less. Better hurry up with the refund.”
And back from the company’s Chief Happiness Officer: “Thanks for your very nice approach to dealing with us. You have already left a bad review, but we have not received the order number or the email address he used, so we cannot check what happened to the order. Starting with providing basic information would be a good way to go while wanting assistance.” (This was rubbish.)
Then from me: “Order no. 207361 Email – kyle@tlnews.com.au Kyle has written about 10 times re this and just keeps getting fobbed off. Refund now thank you. Second bad review goes up this afternoon. Donna Kelly. Unhappiness customer.”
Boom – return from them: “Sure, you can keep writing bad reviews and sitting there in resentment. Or you can just use your energy in a better way. It’s up to you. Life is too precious to hold grudges. The order was now cancelled and refunded. It will take a few working days to reflect. I hope you can now move on.”
Me: “Where is the refund? Stop the rubbish. Next review is on its way.”
And finally from them: “I have clearly mentioned IN MY EMAIL: MAYBE START READING WHAT I AM SAYING: The order was now cancelled and refunded. It will take a few working days to reflect. REFUNDS ARE NOT INSTANT. I AM NOT A MAGICIAN. I CANNOT MAKE IT APPEAR INSTANTLY. BANKS TAKE TIME TO PROCESS. WRITE ALL THE REVIEWS YOU WANT TO. IT’S NOT GONNA CHANGE THAT. I CANNOT CHANGE THAT. NOBODY CAN CHANGE THAT. I DON’T KNOW HOW ELSE TO TELL YOU. A $169.00 AUD refund is pending.”
Refund came through last Friday. Maybe don’t be dicks. Just sayin’…