June 24th, 2022Just sayin’…

I GUESS, being the travel edition and all, I should talk about the joys of hitting the road, but it’s not all beer and skittles. Whatever that means.
We have seen a lot of Australia but I never tire of being on the road, looking at huge vistas whether that’s swathes of cane fields or red dirt and scraggly gums, or massive waterways but it’s the nights that can see you undone.
Not with loneliness – as you can imagine, Kyle always has a story to tell or a theory to share…no, it’s the accommodation. You’d think by our ages we would do it well by now. But it’s still hit and miss.
When we were younger, poorer and had Rosie and Curly we stayed in some shocking places. Apparently dogs ruin nice hotel/motel rooms so they are best kept away and only allowed to stay in run-down camp grounds with freezing cabins.
I remember one place out the back of Queensland which was so cold Curly, who you can tell by his name was pretty furry, was on his mat on the floor shivering. We had used up all the wood provided for the fire and I started to have a good think about the wooden furniture. But Curly warmed up in bed with us and Rosie and the two chairs I had my eye on survived. Just.
Another joint had two rottweilers living next door, as in less than a metre away, separated by a very dodgy open wire fence, from the door. We carried the dogs inside that cabin and when Rosie took a leak on the carpet we assured her she had value added to the place.
This latest trip to Cairns was going to be better, we thought. Sadly still no dogs, just can’t go there even after six years, but, you know, enough money to get somewhere somewhat decent.
Hmmm. Among our stops have been a place with a couch so dirty with built-in grease that we used the top sheet off the bed to sit on – that was $275 a night. We did mention it to the people at the front desk and they said we were welcome to leave a review. We didn’t bother.
At another, the young woman checking us in told us that our keycards were “our best friends” and that under no circumstances could we lose them. She then said she was leaving “right on six” so if we wanted anything we better get to our rooms quickly otherwise there would be “no-one to help you”. That’s someone who needs to get out of the hospitality industry.
At another place, the spiral staircase to the second level had a big sign hung across the lower rails saying “no entry” and then some wooden boards kind of stretched across and blocking the top couple of stairs, I guess in case you can’t read. We looked up and saw open shutters and what looked like black mould on the walls. I asked the bloke at the desk if there could be mould and he looked at me like I was speaking another language. Then he almost exploded that it couldn’t be mould because it was “pretty airy” up there. Yes, because of the open shutters – which can also allow any spider, ant or cockroach to enter. FFS.
Anyway, the road is great, just don’t stop anywhere. Head up to Queensland, veer left, and left and left, and you’ll be back home. Not that we are doing anything that ambitious. There is a still a pandemic on, so baby steps for us. Just sayin’…