February 18th, 2025Kyle’s Rant

This issue’s rant has two non-segued bits to it. I just wasn’t feeling clever enough to link them after witnessing that buffoon’s comments about clearing out the Gaza Strip and turning it into a resort. FFS.

Before the election I did write that it was on the cards as his son-in-law had been in Gaza measuring it up for renovation. But I can’t believe he actually announced it to the world in front of what looked like a very surprised Yahoo (hello World War III).

In his first little while of being in office his trade tariff wars against Canada and Mexico have been dropped in the time it took to spell fentanyl trafficking.  And a big FU tariff to China was met with an arrogant “you need us more than we need you” FU tariff back from China.

Now Trump has signed an executive order banning trans athletes from women’s sports – what a guy.

This stuff would be hilarious if it wasn’t keeping me up in the middle of the night.  And here is part two, and if a segue could possibly be drawn, it would be the juxtaposition of speed in terms of getting stuff done.

I do prefer methodical law-making but around three years ago I started on my journey of baffling bureaucracy with the Hepburn Shire Council’s planning department.  

I only wanted to realise a bit of value in my home of 20 years by subdividing a portion off the side. I live in a township zone, with no overlays, BAL ratings and am nowhere near a watercourse. I watch as homes spring up around me, some almost  afloat on the watercourse that leads into the Loddon River, and still I wait.

I have made the appropriate recommended changes to my abutting block where our house is, including the installation of a strange water garden, which was my choice. Well actually I was given an ultimatum for either a water garden for the gutter water to overflow into or $5000 donation to HSC.  

I also installed a new $14,000 septic system, and still I wait.  Lately I have been on the phone every other day with my new HSC friend,  Andrew. A great bloke who seems to have a “get it done” attitude and who even  managed to get me an address for the block. Thanks for that part.  But still I wait.  

The power has long ago been located to the boundary of the block, a driveway has been put in and a fence erected on the surveyor’s marks, but still I wait.  

I have currently dropped somewhere north of 70K on bureaucracy. I have always owned the land, nothing has visibly changed except for my bank  balance, and still I wait.  

I am a very patient guy who cuts most people a break, but how much longer can this drag on?  Waiting rant over. But still I wait.  

(Ed’s note: I can confirm that Kyle was on hold today for over 20 minutes after  being asked to wait while a planner went searching for our file. I also recall reading somewhere that HSC once provided a building permit over a weekend. Three years does seem a tad  long. Even if you were into tantric…)