February 7th, 2022Kyle’s Rant

THE summer holidays have ground to a halt, our New Year’s resolutions are a bit of a distant memory and we have wheeled the dumpster fire known as 2021 into the back lane, filled it with accelerant and let it rip.
And it seems now we can quietly welcome 2022 into the world with very steady hands and breathing shallow, sort of like a member of the bomb squad, we will see how this annus horribilis presents itself or not.
Will it be full of wonderment, rainbow slide rides that end in soft white marshmallow clouds, filling us with joyous memories? Or as we slip into the alcohol haze of Christmas time this year, will we be wanting to whack its head like a red- headed stepchild. And before the woke generation put the boot in, yes, I was a red- headed stepchild and yes, they did.
Already Meatloaf, the famous, larger than life character who wrote the soundtrack of my early teens Bat Out of Hell has departed this mortal coil. He recently jumped on the anti-vax train and declared “I won’t do that” and as it turns out he probably should have, the poor old bugger.
Speaking of poor old buggers (actually I am just trying to tidy up a jarring segue the editor asked me to sort out after a writing sabbatical) this poor old bugger is a bit perplexed by the prices of a rapid antigen test or a RAT.
I appreciate the value things have. When a plumber comes in to do some work, writes out the invoice for an eye-watering amount, I am happy to pay. I haven’t hired this person to simply fix the plumbing and I know their knowledge doesn’t stop at “shit runs downhill and pay day is on Friday”. I have hired them for their prior experience of years on the job.
The same can be said for when I turn up to a photography job. I am not just clicking a button on the top of my camera. Well actually, sometimes I do just click the button with a hasty retreat when it comes to those bloody giant bloody cheque handovers that I have nightmares about and these days refuse to do.
But for the most part you are paying for a guy with years of experience, a couple of awards and a good eye for photojournalism.
But I digress. Back to the RAT tests. These things range from $10 to $15 and, as aforementioned, I appreciate the science and knowledge gone into making these things, but open the pack and what have you got?
An individually packed cotton bud, which cost retail $6 for a 50 pack – and these things only have one end making them worth five cents apiece.
There is an instruction card and a plastic thing that looks like it’s the disposable interchangeable tip to one of those lights that a doctor shoves in your ear. These two pieces combined would be about 10 cents.
Then there is the business end of the test. The vial of stuff that co-mingles the bacteria from your nose, maybe twenty cents worth of brew in that. And finally, the pregnancy test tray, for which I will be generous to the scientists that developed it and give it a mass-produced value of $1 per tray.
That, in my estimation is $1.35 worth of test kit, and I know down the logistical line everyone who handles these items must clip the ticket and make a bob, but $15 seems a bit beyond the pale.
RATTY rant over…