June 5th, 2022Kyle’s Rant

BODY image is a strange thing, these days it is a subject of taboo due to woke principles and body shaming culture, but did you see the BPAY advert on TV with that big fat guy in the bath?
You can look at the advert via the QR code opposite before reading on.
Anyway, it got me thinking about breasts, as he has a rather fleshy set of man boobs. If we as a society have his large udders thrust into our living room, why then is the nipple of a woman, something personally I would rather look at, pixelated?

Speaking of body shape, back in the old days before we had the fast-food chains when the vast majority of people were in a labour-intensive workforce, such as down a mine or breaking rocks to form roads, before the robots took over, if you had a bit of weight on folks were jealous.
Images of fellows bursting out of their dinner jackets while sipping on another pint of Guinness were something to behold. In the words from the show Oliver: “Food, glorious food, hot sausage and mustard, while we’re in the mood, cold jelly and custard, peas, pudding and saveloys, what next is the question, rich gentlemen have it boys, indigestion!”
And back then women were shapely and voluptuous and, for that matter, so were the farm animals until we bred them into submission for maximum production – the animals not the women that is.
My point that I am slowly getting to is that as the world begins to run out of food and the population continues to swell (think Mad Max), eventually a bit of a tummy out the front will be a thing to show off with pride. Instead of swimwear competitions we will be entering in man boob and back fat competitions. And that’s what I am holding out for as the gravity and post-pandemic lack of motivation to move gradually starts to grab hold. I think eventually I won’t be able to get out of the bed in the morning should the motivation wane further.
Speaking of beds, on a recent road trip with the missus I was shocked to find all the double beds in motels and hotels were two singles pushed together. I am talking about five different establishments of various star ratings.
When I booked, I didn’t ask for two singles pushed together and disguised as a queen bed, I asked for a queen. Some of the places we stayed at made a sort of an attempt to cover the gap with a topper pad and others with just a sheet and under blanket. What is with that?
Surely most people on the road are travelling as couples and don’t want to risk life and limb falling into the abyss as the two single beds separate. Even single travellers must like a bigger bed. And surely it makes better economic sense to buy one queen bed rather than two singles set aside for the odd tightwad who might stumble in off the track looking to share a room.
First world problems I know, rant over…