September 16th, 2024Kyle’s Rant
I am definitely a dog guy. I have had cats in my life but just can’t warm to the claws sticking into me, and they think they are being funny by swiping at your ankles as you walk past.
Compounding my dislike for the puss, recently Donna and I pet sat for some friends in Hepburn and my anti-cat stance was once more reinforced.
The dog was cute and presented no problems – it ate, walked, played and slept – but the cat was used to sleeping in its owners’ bed and sitting on top of them when watching TV.
So, I ate my dinner standing up as it seemed impossible to keep the cat at bay and away from my plate. I then closed the door to the bedroom for the night and in the early hours of the morning, at Donna’s insistence, I let the thing into the yard, watched while it relieved itself in the cat litter and then I opened the door to the bedroom.
The fearless feline promptly sat on Donna’s head with the same part of its body that had just been, well, you know. And so I could get some respite from the continuous meowing, I sat in the car and listened to the radio from five in the morning.
Making news recently is a push to combat the serious impact of both feral and pet cats on Australian wildlife.
New government proposals could introduce limits on the number of cats owned per household. It’s called a “cat threat abatement plan” because cats are known to wreak havoc on Australia’s native species.
And I do think that all pet owners should take responsibility, you wouldn’t let your pup roam the streets at night and the same should be said for cats.
My prejudice against the pussycat came from when I was a child. A memory indelibly lodged in my brain.
Mum thought it would be a great idea to give me a cat for my third birthday, and when you are poor and there are plenty of homeless kittens around, it makes sense.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t bond with the gaunt, lanky, clawed animal that I now remember as 10 times its actual size. And Mum didn’t help by locking me in the kitchen, with aforementioned cat, for what felt like a day.
As I tried to dodge the tabby climbing up on the table (this is a true memory) mum finally gave into my screams of terror and let me out.
In terms of an animal superheroes segue, to add strength to my argument in the cur camp, we have Clifford the Big Red Dog, Power Pooch, Dynomutt, Dog Wonder, and the top dog is of course, Hong Kong Phooey.
Whereas in the cat camp you struggle along with Cat Aoman, Black Pantha (a distant cat relation and I do give him respect) and finally the lessor known Hellcat, all of whom Clifford would squash while Hong Kong Phooey wipes the floor with them.
And because this is my rant not yours I will omit the AFL conversation in terms of the Cats V Dogs.
Back in 2019 we ended up in St Petersburg, Russia, on a cruise ship, when the world was a simpler place before the pandemic and the Ukraine invasion. And it is there where I saw some very impressive true working cats at the Hermitage Museum.
They are a group of cats residing in the museum. They even have a press secretary and three dedicated caretakers. The cats live in the basement and they also can be seen on the embankment and in the nearby square during the summer.
These pusses roam the entire museum at night which, because of its position on the banks of the river, suffer from rat and mouse infestations.
Now that’s a good cat but their names are a little beyond the pale. Now I know that us pooch lovers have crazy long names for our dogs. Our dearly departed Rosie as Burr-Dog, or Rosie Queen of all the Dogs and then there was Curly. Who got the whole Curly Whirly One Shot Dog, He’s No Hog treatment.
But come on, Fluffy McFlufferson (aka Fluffybutt), Sir Pounce-a-Lot and Whiskerlicious is surely over the top, and a little embarrassing for a professional mouse catcher.
Cat V Dog rant over…
