March 17th, 2023Lessons from Lucy book launch at Convent
Elizabeth Huxtable is a former Daylesford resident and has written a memoir about her time in the town while parenting her daughter with disabilities, Lucy.
Lucy passed away 16 years ago but most of her life was spent in the town, attending Daylesford Primary School part-time, and Ballarat Specialist School.
Elizabeth, who was known by her first name Anne while in Daylesford, is holding a book launch for Lessons from Lucy at the Convent Gallery this Saturday, March 18 and would love Lucy’s former
school friends to come along.
She chatted with Donna Kelly.
Donna: What prompted you to write your book?
Elizabeth: I was hoping that sharing my experiences might give ideas and
inspiration to other parents of children with disabilities.
Donna: What do you hope it will give others?
Elizabeth: I learned to look at my situation from a very different perspective near
the end of Lucy’s life. It might save parents time by seeing what I learned. However,
as I wrote, I realised that this story has wider appeal. It can apply to any adversity in
life. When we change our perspective, we can see the gift in the situation.
Donna: What did it give you?
Elizabeth: Writing the book was a cathartic experience. In the intervening years, I
have done a lot of healing and when I looked back on the events that started 27 years
ago, I gained some powerful insights and understandings.
Donna: What are your top three lessons learned from Lucy?
Elizabeth: 1. My biggest regret after Lucy died was all the time wasted worrying
about the future. This stopped me from more fully enjoying the present moment. I
no longer look too far ahead. The future is unknowable and so it’s best to enjoy what
is happening right now.
2. Lucy was unable to communicate in the usual way since she was non-verbal. I
discovered that it is only when our mind is quiet and still that we can truly listen to
another person. It is easy for our mental chatter, worries and fears to interfere, and
allow us to presume we know what another person is trying to communicate, rather
than truly listening from the heart.
3. I learned that unconditional love is about totally accepting what is, and not
trying to change it. It’s loving completely what is, instead of what I wish, or what I
think could have been.
Donna: You lived in Daylesford for 10 years – how was that?
Elizabeth: I loved living in Daylesford. Right from the beginning, we were made
to feel welcome. Anytime I pushed Lucy up the main street, children would rush up
to say hello. During Lucy’s first year of life in Byron Bay, she cried for hours every day
but amazingly, as soon as we moved to Daylesford, the crying stopped. The energy of
the place really suited her. I felt supported emotionally, but also physically. The local
permaculture group came and constructed a concrete path and wheelchair ramp from
the car port to the back door of our house, which was a huge help.
Donna: You now live in Malaysia – how is that and what prompted the move?
Elizabeth: After Lucy passed away, I tried turning my house, with its
modifications, into a B&B for people with wheelchairs. However, most tourists
wanted to rent the whole house rather than share it with me, so it wasn’t a viable
business for me. My brother has a business in Malaysia and he needed help to manage
the warehouse so a year after Lucy’s passing, I accepted his offer to join him. It was a
chance to reinvent myself. No one knew about my past. I found it easier to move on
and heal from the grief and trauma of the previous 10 years.
Donna: The book is being launched at The Convent Gallery – was there a reason you
chose that particular place?
Elizabeth: A friend suggested it as a venue and I recall loving the beauty and
ambience of the place. Years ago, I attended a Singers Festival event in the chapel
and loved the acoustics. I’m planning to share some of my sound healing work, with
crystal bowls and voice, at the launch, so it seemed like the perfect venue.
Donna: Is there anything else you would like to add?
Elizabeth: I’m hopeful that some of Lucy’s classmates, in their mid-20s by now,
still live in the area and can come. It would be wonderful to see them again.
RSVPs to Marija at The Convent Gallery at marija@theconvent.com.au
