Local Lines

March 13th, 2021Local Lines

Central Highland Limericks

One day they drove through old Glenlyon
Looking for a place to rely on
With its gardens and trees
General store and light breeze
They thought this a hill you could die on

Whilst driving through Porcupine Ridge
He thought of the rhyme ‘ridgey-didge’
They don’t always come
Like a kick up the bum
But more like moving a fridge

He made a bet with his brother
To rhyme with Korweinguboora
It’s not like it’s Aberystwyth
Or with a lady making a tryst with
But because he was keen to be thorough

One day he was having a chat
Whilst driving through old Shepherd’s Flat
About riding his bike up those hills
When younger and looking for thrills
His wife duly yawned ‘Well, that’s that’

It’s really worth making the trip
For the slam at old Mollongghip
The poems are funny
There’s a ramshackle dunny
Just pee in the dark and don’t slip

Whilst walking one day with his pooch he sang
I’m naming this place Mt. Kooroocheang
Nobody can yell it
Let alone spell it
For those who came after a knell he rang

Anybody from Melbourne who ails could
Make their way to beautiful Daylesford
With massages and spas
Lovely food and bazaars
And if thinking of catching the light rail, should

I just want to give a good shout
For the high spot called Guildford Lookout
You see distant sights
And above, whistling kites
You’ll love it, go see, have no doubt

I did not think at my age I’d meet
Such a bookshop at old Campbells Creek
Its stock is endless and deep or
Its range simply something to weep for
It’s Heaven, right there, on the street

Those days when you see what dawn brings
If fine we will go to Vaughan Springs
Swimming holes, cemeteries and gold story
Give a glimpse of its great former glory
The history round there fairly sings

His favourite actress he called “My Winona”
And his favourite song “Ma ma ma my Sharona”
He was from Dandenong
So got it all wrong
And named west Yandoit ‘Ma ma ma my Werona’

If there’s one place I haven’t been but should
It’s down the hill to old Franklinford
It’s name suggests grandeur
But there’s only a veranda
Of a long ago shack made of wood

The place where all time stands still
For me is Cafe Wombat Hill
You eat viennoiserie
Amongst Melbourne bourgeoiserie
Or get under Mt Atlas and chill

Tom Perfect

Tom Perfect and his wife Judy drive around a lot of the district looking for places for Judy to paint landscapes. Tom is the roadie (like the old Dave Allen household help).

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